I realize I never wrote up about the last two nights of my three night vigil.
Night Two (Friday night, August 17) was a quick and somewhat impromptu meditation quite late (it may have even been technically Saturday morning by the time I got to it, after hanging out with Leah reading Pratchett and watching a couple episodes of the IT Crowd). I didn't do a full formal ritual circle as I'd done the night before, but simply lit Sorta*'s candle and spent some time in silent meditation before drawing a card from the Oracle deck and then spending a bit longer meditating on its meaning.
The card I drew was the Hunter of Gifts — and my half-sober meditations seemed to revolve mostly around the subtle paradox of being a "hunter" of gifts, how this phrase seems to capture the paradox of our relationship with the gods, the delicate blending and balance of work and grace (to put it in more Catholic theological terms), or action and receptivity, effort and acceptance. I have never gone hunting in a literal sense, but I've heard stories about the long hours spent waiting quietly in the woods, moving gently through the trees trying to be unobtrusive as possible, how our ancestors sometimes had to stalk prey for days.... And the sudden appearance of the animal, when it finally arrived, could seem like a gift. A gift is a gift precisely because it is not earned or deserved or exchanged tit-for-tat... it is simply given, freely.
I found this particularly poignant because on this night, I had another object on the altar besides the Oracle deck, the candle and the water (which I drank, as before, to honor and bring into myself the energies of the divination and meditation).... a pendant that is an abstract depiction of a bow and arrow. It seemed a powerful omen that I would draw a card depicting a hunter on this night. (The night before, when I'd drawn the Shaman of Courage card, I'd had a piece of ritual wear that I plan to consecrate to Sorta* for shamanic/journey work on the altar, one that has ties to the deer/stag, which I always invite into the circle with an invocation of its strength and courage.)
Night Three (Saturday, August 18), once again I did a full clearing and blessing of the space while burning incense, lighting the candle with a prayer to Sorta* after some time in meditation. This time, along with the deck, candle, water and incense on the altar, I had another pendant, this one of a bear's paw print, along with Jeff's bear fetish that he allowed me to use. The card I drew during divination was the Shaman of Stars. Using the recorded drumming, I did some journeywork on the meaning of this energy (again, a good synchronicity that on the night I work with the bear's energy, which I've often invoked as "great starry bear" associated with the constellations of Ursa Major and Minor in the northern sky, I would draw a shaman card of the stars)...
Again, I entered into the hollowed cedar and found myself following a spiraling stairwell deep down into the earth. The stairwell itself had close, cool walls of bluish stone studded with "stars" that shone white and gold in the dark and which, on closer look, were various gems and diamonds. At the bottom of the spiral stairwell was a rounded, wooden door on which the image of the Shaman of Stars appeared. I reached out to touch the image, and at my touch the door swung open, giving way to a night scene of green, rolling hills under a star-studded and moonlit sky. I recognized this place as the same hillside I'd seen in meditation more than a year ago when seeking insight from Brigid about her role in my life and my role in hers. The image I'd received then was of me dancing beneath the moon and starlight off alone in ecstasy, while others gathered around a bonfire off in the distance sharing stories and laughing together. I remember feeling a protest in me about how this personal worship, away from the eyes of others, did not seem to me to be what being a "priestess" to the gods was about (I thought instead it was about serving the community and being in the public eye) and how I was chided for that attitude, reminded that tapping into my own deep relationship with the gods was the source of any "priestessing" I would be doing and that I needed to let go of my worry about others' expectations and opinions when it came to that work. This time, there was no one else on the hilltop beneath the starlight.... at least at first. Then I saw a movement, almost like a disturbance in the air, and there was the Shaman of Stars on the hillside, reaching up to pick stars out of the sky like fruit and bringing them down to the earth. He was tall, huge really, and his head seemed to be of an animal nature, with a snout, and he seemed to have antlers, though they were invisible, in which the net of stars would sometimes snag and shiver with the movement of his head so that the stars themselves glimmered. I approached him hesitantly, watching him awhile as he plucked the stars. Then he handed me one — it was cool and light, not heavy, though it was about the size of my fist, with many gleaming facets. I wasn't sure what to do with it, but had the impulse to eat it, so I put it to my mouth. Some rational part of my mind must have objected to eating something hard as a diamond, for I found that I had to crunch it with my teeth, and it shattered into a million tiny shards, like glitter, that I swallowed down with some degree of trepidation and even horror. But as I swallowed, I could feel the shards embedding themselves within me all along my throat and in my chest, sinking into my flesh, passing into my bloodstream and being passed throughout my body until I was shining and glistening on the inside. The heat of my body seemed to melt them somewhat, so that they were wet and almost like liquid. At the drumming call back, I thanked the Shaman of Stars and turned to return through the door and back up the spiral stairwell.
Of all the nights' meditations, this is the one I'm least sure of — the journey work on courage seemed to have some clear and obvious symbolism, the red-mud paint and the dancing naked by the bonfire.... This seemed to be the counterbalance to that night's work, all darkness and starlight and a kind of being anointed on the inside, by eating the star, rather than on the outside with bodypaint like blood. There are also obvious ties back to my work with Brigid, so that I feel that this is also about bringing the gifts of my past relationship with her into this new work that I'm doing. (The Libra-ascendant in me is all ready to be giddy: oooh! a sun goddess and a moon goddess! how balanced! ::headdesk::)
I had intended to complete these vigils with a ritual of integration on the new moon night (Sunday), but decided it wasn't quite the right time. Jeff and I did go out again to Tiger Mountain, where I spent some time in meditation in a small cave among the Talus Rocks, surrounded by rock and root, soil and sky. Obviously, since then, I've had a couple of rough days with inexplicable crankiness — today, though, I'm feeling more enthusiastic and energetic. I'm thinking perhaps that I'll do some work tomorrow night, on the sixth night of the moon, which is also a day of importance to this goddess.
Random discovery yesterday while surfing online: the western (or Pacific) red cedar is not a true cedar, but is actually a member of the cypress family. This is also pretty intriguing, since I've had an intuitive sense of connection with the western red cedar ever since arriving here in Seattle, and it turns out that the cypress is a tree considered sacred to the goddess I am calling Sorta*. Interesting....
Showing posts with label altar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label altar. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
New Moon Rededication
Not sure how three months slipped by without an entry. Oh, wait... yes I do. (a) A new job, and (b) I rather hate the new blogger dashboard layout.
Updates? We haz them.
The new podcast project has been an amazing success, and we're nearing the end of our first season with hundreds of listeners. I'm working regularly, perhaps a bit too much... there were times throughout the past three months, because of the rush to keep ahead of schedule with this summer's craziness, that I was close to burn out — August will be a nice break. My hope is that we will hit a stride that will let me work consistently but not obsessively (they say the first few months of a new job are always the hardest). I also feel as though some of the more subtler transformative effects are starting to work their way in, as well. Hard to articulate exactly, but I feel as though I have a new focus to my work and a vision for this project that I'm following, and it's become much easier to tune out the online social media noise that used to feel so overwhelming and drag me so far off center. In general I feel more confident about my work and happier doing it, instead of feeling like it's pulling teeth. The down side: I am not writing as much, either for my personal blog or No Unsacred Place. But I'm writing just as consistently for both as I would during my times of writer's block back when that was all I was doing, so maybe it just feels like slacking off compared to the huge amount of work I put into the podcast regularly.
On the writing front, though, I do have a new writing gig: a column for SageWoman Magazine. On top of my column with Aontacht Magazine, I'm feeling pretty happy about my writing. I think I actually prefer writing magazine columns to blog posts, the format lends itself to more thoughtful writing with more time for reflection (and revision!) in between each.
The child custody issue culminated when Emily took Jeff to court (because a father wanting to see his kids is a punishable offense, now? she asked for a "relief hearing" because, in her bizarre world, Jeff was the one being stubborn). Anyway, the judge was buddy-buddy with Emily's lawyer and sang Emily's praises for being a noble homeschooling stay-at-home mom (without ever asking for any evidence of Emily's assertions that this way of homeschooling, on a schedule that just would not allow the kids to be away from her for more than a couple weeks at a time, was absolutely necessary and "best for the kids"). So Jeff, who had no lawyer, didn't really get a fair hearing at all, and the judge left him alone in the room with Emily and her lawyer acting as mediator, clearly not impartial or fair. Even so, in the end, they agreed to all of Jeff's requests except Emily refused to allow more than four weeks with the kids. Still, four weeks is better than the two she was originally demanding. Still, the illogic and injustice of it galls me, and when I'm stressed I do still find myself back in that courtroom, playing out all the things I could have said or done, ways that I could have humiliated Emily for being a controlling, selfish bitch. As it is, it seems they found me intimidating enough (her lawyer had a minor freak-out and accused me of "making fun of her," like we were back in middle school, and in response to nothing more than me smiling across the court room at my husband). But before we went into court, Jeff and I agreed that we'd done everything we could and it was in the gods' hands, and I trust that everything will work out for the best. All along, what we've wanted most is some kind of reasonable resolution instead of this endless game of Emily saying no but never giving us her own terms, or when she did, terms that were so vague that they were clearly an excuse to whittle away at Jeff's time with the kids after the fact. Now at least he has firm dates set, and she can kiss our asses. (I won't even go into the ridiculous song-and-dance they did about Christmas, and how panicked they looked when I pointed out that none of the kids four parents, nor the kids themselves, are Christian.... like I was just about to spoil Emily's whole good-suburban-Christian-mom routine.)
So Jeff is with the kids up in New Hampshire now, along with Melanie, and they've been having a great time, except for all the other stuff going on (like Melanie not feeling well, and Biff potentially needing to go back into the hospital while she's away, and the summer being unusually hot up in New England). I miss him a lot, but it's been good to have the place to myself for a little while. Well, me and Cu.
I've pretty well trained Cu not to bite, finally, after Leah let us know (she cat-sat while we were away back east for the court hearing and visiting my parents) that he was biting her when she came to check on him. Playful nips, nothing mean-spirited, but that's not acceptable. I was being too lenient with him anyway, and it's been easier to break him of the habit with just the two of us, since he can't just turn to daddy for affection and ignore me ignoring him for being naughty.
What else? I did finally unpack some of our sacred objects and set up and rededicate the indoor and outdoor altars like I'd planned to when we first moved in. I'm doing daily devotionals at the indoor altars now, which is good. I'll take a picture or two to post here eventually, at some point. The indoor altar isn't quite complete, as we still need to incorporate certain symbols for Jeff's deities and mine and decide if any other items need to be included. The outdoor altar is very simple, as usual, just a candle, a vase of cut flowers, te wind chimes and a bowl of sea shells.
I bought a treadmill and a standing desk / drafting table so that, eventually, I can walk while I work. My work on the computer doing research and writing has started to take up a lot of my time, and I haven't been as good about exercising as I want to be, so getting a treadmill seemed like a good solution. I've had it two days, and I'm enjoying being able to move while I work — it helps my concentration and lets me work up a good sweat. I just need to find a more comfortable way to type while I walk, and I'll be good to go.
I've started doing Tai Chi in the mornings. It rocks.
I got an iPad. Forgot to mention that — it was a (somewhat early) birthday present from my parents, and I have to admit, it's even better than I was expecting. I'm using it regularly for ebook reading and researching articles for the podcast, plus there are some really useful nature apps, like flora and fauna guides and moon calendars and such. And productivity apps that are useful. And some pretty nifty drawing apps that I've played around with some (though I haven't been as good about keeping up with my naturalist journal as I'd been hoping). So, yes, I'm very pleased with it. It will work as a good replacement when this laptop finally goes (it's on its last legs now) and I get a desktop family computer for Jeff and I to use so he doesn't have to use his work laptop when we're at home.
I think the hardest thing about getting used to Seattle has been not living near any parks. The SVN training and teaching is fantastic, but it's not exactly "alone time" in the woods like I used to have with Frick just a block away. As much as I love our place, it's very hard for me to not be near a park I can walk to — much harder than I expected, actually. I realized that it's the first time in my life that I haven't had some sort of wooded park within a few blocks.... which means, until now, I've been very, very lucky. It also means I need to work on finding alternatives and ways to cope. It's been hard.
Setting up the altars again has helped somewhat. It also helped when, for my flamekeeping shift the other night, I went whole-hog and performed a full ritual, complete with circle casting and calling the quarters and the traditional prayers and such. I attended a summer solstice event with Jeff and Leah put on by the local OBOD group, and it was really fantastic (in the community sense, if not an amazing, elaborate ritual or anything), and it made me realize just how much I've fought against being too "revivalist" in my Druidry, especially with pressure from people online who all seem to be taking the hard line towards reconstructionist polytheism. Being Wiccan now is almost taboo to hear people talk, and yet.... it's startling to me to discover that in many ways, I'm closer to that spirituality than I will ever be to a reconstructionist. Trying to embrace that has been part of this growing confidence I have about my own path, and moving away from being so reactionary and governed by the opinions of others online (even when I didn't realize that's what was happening).
It's led me to rededicate myself to the Living Druidry work that Jeff and I were doing together when we first began dating several years ago, and that turned out to be so fruitful for me at the time. Once Jeff is home, he's agreed that we'll make weekly trips to the local woods (probably Carkeek) to do our meditations and rituals in the evenings the way we were doing back then, and I hope that will help some with my restlessness at not being close to the woods.
Just yesterday was the new Claim Song Moon. I'll be journaling some about the various topics for contemplation included in this month's lesson.
So I think that about covers it.
I really miss Pittsburgh. I miss hanging out with Arthur. I miss Frick Park. I miss hot summers (though not as hot as they've been having this year!). I am still not really settled here. I still don't know what the seasons are like, little things like that. When I think about how long we've been here already and how it still doesn't quite feel like home — and yet when we were back in Pittsburgh and Lancaster briefly, that didn't feel like home either, really — I start to feel a little bit panicked, like... what if I'll never really feel at home again? What if this is what it's going to be like from now on, just one issue after another, one stress-ball after another, always something new, always a new project, always a new controversy, a new issue to deal with, a new way in which I'm discovering how inherently limited my perspective is and yet surrounded always by people who aren't forgiving or patient but full of self-righteous anger.....
It's not that I'm not happy. I have been very happy and feeling energized and optimistic recently, and having good work that I love doing is a big part of that. But happiness and joy... they're different. And I do sometimes still feel homesick.
The neighbors are having quite a party across the street. I'm going to bed to read some and snuggle with my Cu.
Updates? We haz them.
The new podcast project has been an amazing success, and we're nearing the end of our first season with hundreds of listeners. I'm working regularly, perhaps a bit too much... there were times throughout the past three months, because of the rush to keep ahead of schedule with this summer's craziness, that I was close to burn out — August will be a nice break. My hope is that we will hit a stride that will let me work consistently but not obsessively (they say the first few months of a new job are always the hardest). I also feel as though some of the more subtler transformative effects are starting to work their way in, as well. Hard to articulate exactly, but I feel as though I have a new focus to my work and a vision for this project that I'm following, and it's become much easier to tune out the online social media noise that used to feel so overwhelming and drag me so far off center. In general I feel more confident about my work and happier doing it, instead of feeling like it's pulling teeth. The down side: I am not writing as much, either for my personal blog or No Unsacred Place. But I'm writing just as consistently for both as I would during my times of writer's block back when that was all I was doing, so maybe it just feels like slacking off compared to the huge amount of work I put into the podcast regularly.
On the writing front, though, I do have a new writing gig: a column for SageWoman Magazine. On top of my column with Aontacht Magazine, I'm feeling pretty happy about my writing. I think I actually prefer writing magazine columns to blog posts, the format lends itself to more thoughtful writing with more time for reflection (and revision!) in between each.
The child custody issue culminated when Emily took Jeff to court (because a father wanting to see his kids is a punishable offense, now? she asked for a "relief hearing" because, in her bizarre world, Jeff was the one being stubborn). Anyway, the judge was buddy-buddy with Emily's lawyer and sang Emily's praises for being a noble homeschooling stay-at-home mom (without ever asking for any evidence of Emily's assertions that this way of homeschooling, on a schedule that just would not allow the kids to be away from her for more than a couple weeks at a time, was absolutely necessary and "best for the kids"). So Jeff, who had no lawyer, didn't really get a fair hearing at all, and the judge left him alone in the room with Emily and her lawyer acting as mediator, clearly not impartial or fair. Even so, in the end, they agreed to all of Jeff's requests except Emily refused to allow more than four weeks with the kids. Still, four weeks is better than the two she was originally demanding. Still, the illogic and injustice of it galls me, and when I'm stressed I do still find myself back in that courtroom, playing out all the things I could have said or done, ways that I could have humiliated Emily for being a controlling, selfish bitch. As it is, it seems they found me intimidating enough (her lawyer had a minor freak-out and accused me of "making fun of her," like we were back in middle school, and in response to nothing more than me smiling across the court room at my husband). But before we went into court, Jeff and I agreed that we'd done everything we could and it was in the gods' hands, and I trust that everything will work out for the best. All along, what we've wanted most is some kind of reasonable resolution instead of this endless game of Emily saying no but never giving us her own terms, or when she did, terms that were so vague that they were clearly an excuse to whittle away at Jeff's time with the kids after the fact. Now at least he has firm dates set, and she can kiss our asses. (I won't even go into the ridiculous song-and-dance they did about Christmas, and how panicked they looked when I pointed out that none of the kids four parents, nor the kids themselves, are Christian.... like I was just about to spoil Emily's whole good-suburban-Christian-mom routine.)
So Jeff is with the kids up in New Hampshire now, along with Melanie, and they've been having a great time, except for all the other stuff going on (like Melanie not feeling well, and Biff potentially needing to go back into the hospital while she's away, and the summer being unusually hot up in New England). I miss him a lot, but it's been good to have the place to myself for a little while. Well, me and Cu.
I've pretty well trained Cu not to bite, finally, after Leah let us know (she cat-sat while we were away back east for the court hearing and visiting my parents) that he was biting her when she came to check on him. Playful nips, nothing mean-spirited, but that's not acceptable. I was being too lenient with him anyway, and it's been easier to break him of the habit with just the two of us, since he can't just turn to daddy for affection and ignore me ignoring him for being naughty.
What else? I did finally unpack some of our sacred objects and set up and rededicate the indoor and outdoor altars like I'd planned to when we first moved in. I'm doing daily devotionals at the indoor altars now, which is good. I'll take a picture or two to post here eventually, at some point. The indoor altar isn't quite complete, as we still need to incorporate certain symbols for Jeff's deities and mine and decide if any other items need to be included. The outdoor altar is very simple, as usual, just a candle, a vase of cut flowers, te wind chimes and a bowl of sea shells.
I bought a treadmill and a standing desk / drafting table so that, eventually, I can walk while I work. My work on the computer doing research and writing has started to take up a lot of my time, and I haven't been as good about exercising as I want to be, so getting a treadmill seemed like a good solution. I've had it two days, and I'm enjoying being able to move while I work — it helps my concentration and lets me work up a good sweat. I just need to find a more comfortable way to type while I walk, and I'll be good to go.
I've started doing Tai Chi in the mornings. It rocks.
I got an iPad. Forgot to mention that — it was a (somewhat early) birthday present from my parents, and I have to admit, it's even better than I was expecting. I'm using it regularly for ebook reading and researching articles for the podcast, plus there are some really useful nature apps, like flora and fauna guides and moon calendars and such. And productivity apps that are useful. And some pretty nifty drawing apps that I've played around with some (though I haven't been as good about keeping up with my naturalist journal as I'd been hoping). So, yes, I'm very pleased with it. It will work as a good replacement when this laptop finally goes (it's on its last legs now) and I get a desktop family computer for Jeff and I to use so he doesn't have to use his work laptop when we're at home.
I think the hardest thing about getting used to Seattle has been not living near any parks. The SVN training and teaching is fantastic, but it's not exactly "alone time" in the woods like I used to have with Frick just a block away. As much as I love our place, it's very hard for me to not be near a park I can walk to — much harder than I expected, actually. I realized that it's the first time in my life that I haven't had some sort of wooded park within a few blocks.... which means, until now, I've been very, very lucky. It also means I need to work on finding alternatives and ways to cope. It's been hard.
Setting up the altars again has helped somewhat. It also helped when, for my flamekeeping shift the other night, I went whole-hog and performed a full ritual, complete with circle casting and calling the quarters and the traditional prayers and such. I attended a summer solstice event with Jeff and Leah put on by the local OBOD group, and it was really fantastic (in the community sense, if not an amazing, elaborate ritual or anything), and it made me realize just how much I've fought against being too "revivalist" in my Druidry, especially with pressure from people online who all seem to be taking the hard line towards reconstructionist polytheism. Being Wiccan now is almost taboo to hear people talk, and yet.... it's startling to me to discover that in many ways, I'm closer to that spirituality than I will ever be to a reconstructionist. Trying to embrace that has been part of this growing confidence I have about my own path, and moving away from being so reactionary and governed by the opinions of others online (even when I didn't realize that's what was happening).
It's led me to rededicate myself to the Living Druidry work that Jeff and I were doing together when we first began dating several years ago, and that turned out to be so fruitful for me at the time. Once Jeff is home, he's agreed that we'll make weekly trips to the local woods (probably Carkeek) to do our meditations and rituals in the evenings the way we were doing back then, and I hope that will help some with my restlessness at not being close to the woods.
Just yesterday was the new Claim Song Moon. I'll be journaling some about the various topics for contemplation included in this month's lesson.
So I think that about covers it.
I really miss Pittsburgh. I miss hanging out with Arthur. I miss Frick Park. I miss hot summers (though not as hot as they've been having this year!). I am still not really settled here. I still don't know what the seasons are like, little things like that. When I think about how long we've been here already and how it still doesn't quite feel like home — and yet when we were back in Pittsburgh and Lancaster briefly, that didn't feel like home either, really — I start to feel a little bit panicked, like... what if I'll never really feel at home again? What if this is what it's going to be like from now on, just one issue after another, one stress-ball after another, always something new, always a new project, always a new controversy, a new issue to deal with, a new way in which I'm discovering how inherently limited my perspective is and yet surrounded always by people who aren't forgiving or patient but full of self-righteous anger.....
It's not that I'm not happy. I have been very happy and feeling energized and optimistic recently, and having good work that I love doing is a big part of that. But happiness and joy... they're different. And I do sometimes still feel homesick.
The neighbors are having quite a party across the street. I'm going to bed to read some and snuggle with my Cu.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Savanah's Year: My First Altar!
Savanah's First Altar!
(a purple candle in a glass, six-point star holder, an oyster shell full of water, a black volcanic rock for earth, and for air, an acorn cap that can be blown like a whistle; all sitting on top of her journal)
Savanah's Year: Gwyar of Earth, Weeks 1 & 2
I've gotten into the bad habit of not updating immediately after my lesson with Savanah, so this is my attempt to remedy that and do better in the future.
Our last lesson with Savanah before today's was almost two weeks ago, on Monday, December 20, during the week we had the kids for the winter solstice. This lesson involved a lot of review of her previous work, including finally getting to see the pictures she'd drawn for the four elements (earth, air, fire and water) and three Druidic aspects (calas, gwyar and nwyfre) and discussing with her the thought she put into what she decided to draw.
Then, we moved on to introduce the next "month" of lessons (although these are taking longer than a month because of scheduling, I hope to get back on track soon now that we're through the holidays — not every month, for instance, will have a "review" week). This month we're working with Gwyar of Earth: still exploring the basics of Druidic belief and practice (needed for a solid foundation and grounding, represented by the element of earth), but moving on to discussions about connection, relationship, communication, exchange, change and flow (as represented by gwyar). During the first week's lesson of the new month, we explored the idea of the altar (and to a lesser extent, the shrine) as a place of connection and communication with Spirit and the gods and beings we have relationships with, as well as a place where we might get a clearer connection to our own deeper, truer selves. We talked with her about the difference between a shrine (as a kind of three dimensional work of art that is dedicated in honor of a person, being, spirit or deity) and an altar (as a "working space" where we can engage with sacred objects and perform ritual actions that help us to communicate with others or ourselves, or bring about a change in our relationships).
A great deal of the Week 1 lesson was devoted to a show-and-tell session, with Jeff and I showing her different sacred objects and ritual tools that can be kept on and used at the altar. The week before, we'd shown her Jeff's travel altar as part of our step-by-step work with the tarot cards; this week, I unpacked my own travel altar to show her the various tools and symbolic objects and how they could be combined or used in different ways. We showed her several tools, including both my wand and athame. We talked about the use of burning candles or incense and the pouring of libations as ways of making offerings, sending prayers or expressing our gratitude for the gods (reminding her of the offerings we make during the Fire Festival rites in the backyard, when we scatter bird seed as an offering to the land, and toss silver coins into a small blue bowl as an offering to the water or sea, while burning incense and flicking blessed water into the flame of a candle as an offering to the sky and the heavens with their gods). We showed her some of the several idols and images of deities that we have about the house, including a plaque dedicated to Odin, the statues to the mother goddess (including the one we placed in the kids' room), and the "symbolic" star-fire bowl and candle that I use as my representation of Brigid. All in all, she seemed very engaged with the show-and-tell, with lots of questions about the different objects and their uses and meanings. I think Jeff and I were both pleased with how things went.
We also changed our approach to the weekly assignments we're giving to her. I'm attempting to make the questions more directed, and connected to the conversations we have during the lesson itself. This way, it involves more of her listening and remembering than having to come up with answers and ideas on the spot — hopefully, that'll give her more confidence in writing her answers and also more incentive to listen carefully and think about our conversations during the lessons themselves, knowing she'll have to write about them later. We're also trying to incorporate more "activities" and hands-on stuff, since that seems to be her strong suit and something that really engages her interest (more so than the writing, at least). So for Week 1 of Gwyar of Earth, we gave her the assignment of finding a space where she can set up a small altar and spend some time there on a regular basis. We also asked her to find four objects, one for each of the four elements, to place on her altar; or to brainstorm ideas for what kinds of objects she might want to have if she couldn't find any.
This assignment went really well, I think, although both Jeff and I were worried that in a household of so many siblings (and so much junk and mess) she might not be able to find a space to be "just hers" that would be undisturbed by others. Happily, she was able to clear a space on the bookcase that sits right by her bed, so that she can keep her altar items there. Unprompted, she brought with her this week the four objects she chose to be on her altar: for fire, a small glass candle holder in the shape of a six-pointed star; for earth, a shiny black rock she found (that she thinks may be a volcanic rock); for water, an oyster shell that can hold water like a cup; and for air (one she had the most difficulty with), an acorn cap, because, as she explained, acorns grow high up in oak trees and you can use acorn caps to whistle by blowing through them. I was just so thrilled and impressed by this kind of creative thinking, especially for the acorn cap for air. The fact that she was able to find her own associations for the elements is really great, and means (I hope, anyway) that she is getting something out of these lessons even if she's not a huge fan of the journaling. I found a purple miniature candle to fit in her holder and we lit it during this week's lesson. She also took a few pictures of the items (and later, I took a few more, since some of hers came out blurry because of camera settings being off).
One thing I forgot to mention — another change we made is the way we begin lessons. During the Calas of Earth month, we'd begun lessons by allowing Savanah to light a red candle and then blowing it out at the end. Starting with the first week of Gwyar of Earth, we're adding to this a period of ten minutes at the beginning of the lesson when we sit and listen to a song and then spend the remaining time in silence. The plan is to gradually transition into a full-blown ritual to open and close the lesson — beginning with the candle, then introducing the use of song as a way of setting the mood and quieting the mind, then eventually introducing simple breathing and meditative practice itself (during the Nwyfre of Earth month). During later months, we may incorporate the use of prayer or even build up to some small magical ritual (though Jeff and I still have to talk about whether or not we're going to introduce her to full-blown spellcrafting, or wait until she's older). This technique has worked really well for the past two lessons, and gives us some time to just sit quietly and find our center. The first week we did this, Savanah talked about her experience of watching the candle flame, and how it slowly began to appear as though it were dancing in time with the music. So again, I think that's an encouraging sign that she is connecting to the energies we're dealing with and learning to trust her intuition and imagination when it comes to her relationship with the world around her.
This lesson, Week 2, we began by going over her work from the previous lesson — starting with her altar objects and then going briefly over the review questions about altar and shrines. She didn't journal much in response to the questions, so we had to prompt her again this week and remind her (and Jeff, who doesn't do much ritual work with altars) what their various uses can be. Then Jeff took the lead on this week's lesson (because I was exhausted), and talked about the moon and its cycles. We spent some time talking about the physical attributes of the moon as an astronomical object in space, revolving around the sun. We explained about the different phases of the moon and looked at a video that demonstrated them in diagram form. We also talked about the affect that the moon (and sun) had on the ocean tides. Most of this Savanah already knew, but it was a good refresher. Jeff introduced the idea of the "triple goddess aspects" of maiden, mother and crone that's really common in Wicca, and we spent some time talking about the crone as a symbol of inner wisdom and power and personal freedom, and how the figure of the "old, ugly woman" has changed as our society has moved away from patriarchy and towards equality. We also did a slide show of pictures of the moon and various images associated with it (including the well-known full moon surrounded by two crescents), as well as some pictures of moon goddesses from different cultures.
After this, we spent some more time talking about the moon and its connection to mystery and the unknown, and its relationship with our emotions, feelings and unconscious mind. We talked about the changing faces of the moon as a reflection of our own changing moods, and how we do not always know why we feel the way we do. This connects us to mystery — just like we do not know the deepest secrets of the ocean, even though the sea is the source of all life on this planet, and just as we can never see the "dark side" of the moon because it always faces away from us. We talked with Savanah about her own moods and emotions and how sometimes things her siblings do might bother her even if there's nothing inherently annoying about them. We discussed with her the idea that cultivating a relationship with the moon can help her learn how to respect and honor her own emotions and their sometimes mysterious source, and be able to tell when she needs to listen to them, and when she needs to understand that just because she feels a certain way doesn't mean it's others who are wrong or bad or causing her to feel that way (it could be that her emotions are arising from within herself).
For her assignment for the coming week (or two weeks), we've asked her to journal daily about her moods and emotions, just jotting down a word or two to describe how she feels. We also asked her to make a note of when the new and full moons are for this month, and to brainstorm some names that she might give the moon based on the seasons and changes in the land and her relationship to both the moon and the earth. I also made up a diagram of the moon revolving around the earth, which we've asked her to label with the names of the different phases (and, if she can remember, when the moon rises relative to the sun for each phase). Her task for the week is to find an object (or come up with some ideas for an object) to put on her altar that will represent the moon, and then to spend time at her altar through the week sitting quietly, praying or reading or drawing or engaging with and handling the objects she's chosen, to get used to being in that space and building a relationship with it and her altar. We'll see how she does with that. In the meantime, I'm going to prepare more thoroughly for her next lesson on the cycles of the season and the various holy days and festivals that mark the turning of the year.
Our last lesson with Savanah before today's was almost two weeks ago, on Monday, December 20, during the week we had the kids for the winter solstice. This lesson involved a lot of review of her previous work, including finally getting to see the pictures she'd drawn for the four elements (earth, air, fire and water) and three Druidic aspects (calas, gwyar and nwyfre) and discussing with her the thought she put into what she decided to draw.
Then, we moved on to introduce the next "month" of lessons (although these are taking longer than a month because of scheduling, I hope to get back on track soon now that we're through the holidays — not every month, for instance, will have a "review" week). This month we're working with Gwyar of Earth: still exploring the basics of Druidic belief and practice (needed for a solid foundation and grounding, represented by the element of earth), but moving on to discussions about connection, relationship, communication, exchange, change and flow (as represented by gwyar). During the first week's lesson of the new month, we explored the idea of the altar (and to a lesser extent, the shrine) as a place of connection and communication with Spirit and the gods and beings we have relationships with, as well as a place where we might get a clearer connection to our own deeper, truer selves. We talked with her about the difference between a shrine (as a kind of three dimensional work of art that is dedicated in honor of a person, being, spirit or deity) and an altar (as a "working space" where we can engage with sacred objects and perform ritual actions that help us to communicate with others or ourselves, or bring about a change in our relationships).
A great deal of the Week 1 lesson was devoted to a show-and-tell session, with Jeff and I showing her different sacred objects and ritual tools that can be kept on and used at the altar. The week before, we'd shown her Jeff's travel altar as part of our step-by-step work with the tarot cards; this week, I unpacked my own travel altar to show her the various tools and symbolic objects and how they could be combined or used in different ways. We showed her several tools, including both my wand and athame. We talked about the use of burning candles or incense and the pouring of libations as ways of making offerings, sending prayers or expressing our gratitude for the gods (reminding her of the offerings we make during the Fire Festival rites in the backyard, when we scatter bird seed as an offering to the land, and toss silver coins into a small blue bowl as an offering to the water or sea, while burning incense and flicking blessed water into the flame of a candle as an offering to the sky and the heavens with their gods). We showed her some of the several idols and images of deities that we have about the house, including a plaque dedicated to Odin, the statues to the mother goddess (including the one we placed in the kids' room), and the "symbolic" star-fire bowl and candle that I use as my representation of Brigid. All in all, she seemed very engaged with the show-and-tell, with lots of questions about the different objects and their uses and meanings. I think Jeff and I were both pleased with how things went.
We also changed our approach to the weekly assignments we're giving to her. I'm attempting to make the questions more directed, and connected to the conversations we have during the lesson itself. This way, it involves more of her listening and remembering than having to come up with answers and ideas on the spot — hopefully, that'll give her more confidence in writing her answers and also more incentive to listen carefully and think about our conversations during the lessons themselves, knowing she'll have to write about them later. We're also trying to incorporate more "activities" and hands-on stuff, since that seems to be her strong suit and something that really engages her interest (more so than the writing, at least). So for Week 1 of Gwyar of Earth, we gave her the assignment of finding a space where she can set up a small altar and spend some time there on a regular basis. We also asked her to find four objects, one for each of the four elements, to place on her altar; or to brainstorm ideas for what kinds of objects she might want to have if she couldn't find any.
This assignment went really well, I think, although both Jeff and I were worried that in a household of so many siblings (and so much junk and mess) she might not be able to find a space to be "just hers" that would be undisturbed by others. Happily, she was able to clear a space on the bookcase that sits right by her bed, so that she can keep her altar items there. Unprompted, she brought with her this week the four objects she chose to be on her altar: for fire, a small glass candle holder in the shape of a six-pointed star; for earth, a shiny black rock she found (that she thinks may be a volcanic rock); for water, an oyster shell that can hold water like a cup; and for air (one she had the most difficulty with), an acorn cap, because, as she explained, acorns grow high up in oak trees and you can use acorn caps to whistle by blowing through them. I was just so thrilled and impressed by this kind of creative thinking, especially for the acorn cap for air. The fact that she was able to find her own associations for the elements is really great, and means (I hope, anyway) that she is getting something out of these lessons even if she's not a huge fan of the journaling. I found a purple miniature candle to fit in her holder and we lit it during this week's lesson. She also took a few pictures of the items (and later, I took a few more, since some of hers came out blurry because of camera settings being off).
One thing I forgot to mention — another change we made is the way we begin lessons. During the Calas of Earth month, we'd begun lessons by allowing Savanah to light a red candle and then blowing it out at the end. Starting with the first week of Gwyar of Earth, we're adding to this a period of ten minutes at the beginning of the lesson when we sit and listen to a song and then spend the remaining time in silence. The plan is to gradually transition into a full-blown ritual to open and close the lesson — beginning with the candle, then introducing the use of song as a way of setting the mood and quieting the mind, then eventually introducing simple breathing and meditative practice itself (during the Nwyfre of Earth month). During later months, we may incorporate the use of prayer or even build up to some small magical ritual (though Jeff and I still have to talk about whether or not we're going to introduce her to full-blown spellcrafting, or wait until she's older). This technique has worked really well for the past two lessons, and gives us some time to just sit quietly and find our center. The first week we did this, Savanah talked about her experience of watching the candle flame, and how it slowly began to appear as though it were dancing in time with the music. So again, I think that's an encouraging sign that she is connecting to the energies we're dealing with and learning to trust her intuition and imagination when it comes to her relationship with the world around her.
This lesson, Week 2, we began by going over her work from the previous lesson — starting with her altar objects and then going briefly over the review questions about altar and shrines. She didn't journal much in response to the questions, so we had to prompt her again this week and remind her (and Jeff, who doesn't do much ritual work with altars) what their various uses can be. Then Jeff took the lead on this week's lesson (because I was exhausted), and talked about the moon and its cycles. We spent some time talking about the physical attributes of the moon as an astronomical object in space, revolving around the sun. We explained about the different phases of the moon and looked at a video that demonstrated them in diagram form. We also talked about the affect that the moon (and sun) had on the ocean tides. Most of this Savanah already knew, but it was a good refresher. Jeff introduced the idea of the "triple goddess aspects" of maiden, mother and crone that's really common in Wicca, and we spent some time talking about the crone as a symbol of inner wisdom and power and personal freedom, and how the figure of the "old, ugly woman" has changed as our society has moved away from patriarchy and towards equality. We also did a slide show of pictures of the moon and various images associated with it (including the well-known full moon surrounded by two crescents), as well as some pictures of moon goddesses from different cultures.
After this, we spent some more time talking about the moon and its connection to mystery and the unknown, and its relationship with our emotions, feelings and unconscious mind. We talked about the changing faces of the moon as a reflection of our own changing moods, and how we do not always know why we feel the way we do. This connects us to mystery — just like we do not know the deepest secrets of the ocean, even though the sea is the source of all life on this planet, and just as we can never see the "dark side" of the moon because it always faces away from us. We talked with Savanah about her own moods and emotions and how sometimes things her siblings do might bother her even if there's nothing inherently annoying about them. We discussed with her the idea that cultivating a relationship with the moon can help her learn how to respect and honor her own emotions and their sometimes mysterious source, and be able to tell when she needs to listen to them, and when she needs to understand that just because she feels a certain way doesn't mean it's others who are wrong or bad or causing her to feel that way (it could be that her emotions are arising from within herself).
For her assignment for the coming week (or two weeks), we've asked her to journal daily about her moods and emotions, just jotting down a word or two to describe how she feels. We also asked her to make a note of when the new and full moons are for this month, and to brainstorm some names that she might give the moon based on the seasons and changes in the land and her relationship to both the moon and the earth. I also made up a diagram of the moon revolving around the earth, which we've asked her to label with the names of the different phases (and, if she can remember, when the moon rises relative to the sun for each phase). Her task for the week is to find an object (or come up with some ideas for an object) to put on her altar that will represent the moon, and then to spend time at her altar through the week sitting quietly, praying or reading or drawing or engaging with and handling the objects she's chosen, to get used to being in that space and building a relationship with it and her altar. We'll see how she does with that. In the meantime, I'm going to prepare more thoroughly for her next lesson on the cycles of the season and the various holy days and festivals that mark the turning of the year.
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