Savanah's Year: Nwyfre of Earth, Calas and Gwyar of Water

I thought my neglect of keeping notes on our lessons with Savanah was bad back in January, and it's been months since I last updated about our progress! Granted, partly that's because we haven't been able to have regular lessons with her for some of these weeks because of scheduling, work conferences, kids' recitals and so on. But for the past two weeks (last Sunday and today) we've been able to get back into it.

Our final week of Gwyar of Earth work, we focused on the seasonal cycle of the year and the relationship between the sun and the earth in creating the seasons. We spent quite a bit of time talking about the difference between the Fire Festivals and the Solar Festivals and how they embody different ways of relating to the sun, as well as comparing these holy days to the Wiccan sabbats and exploring the differences and similarities. We talked about the cycle of the seasons as a metaphor for birth, growth, maturity, death and rebirth both in the human life cycle and also in how we approach our goals and dreams, taking time to plan and prepare for each stage and doing work that reflects the needs and energies of that stage. For her journal, we asked her to label a diagram of the wheel of the year with the different holidays and write a little blurb about each of them. We also had her pick out two more objects for her altar: one representing the sun itself, and one representing the current season. (To be honest, it was so long ago that I can't remember which objects she chose. I do remember being very impressed by the intuitive nature of the object she chose for the sun, but can't for the life of me remember what it was.) For that week's activity, we asked her to do a creative project to symbolize the wheel of the year and the cycle of the seasons. She used a new Christmas gift to make a woven bracelet with different colored beads representing the four seasons.

During February, we moved on to Nwyfre of Earth and introduced Savanah to the basic practices of breath meditation, centering and grounding. We began by learning about the physical breath and how it connects us to the world around us in the most intimate and immediate way. We began to connect the idea of the physical breath with the sense of life-force and spirit expressed through the elemental principle of nwyfre, and discussed how the way we breathe (fast or slow, heavy or shallow, etc.) can give us insight into how we are feeling, and help us to calm down and feel better when we're feeling upset. We asked her to journal answers to some simple questions about the relationship between breath and self-awareness (the directed questions that provide a review of our conversations during the lesson are turning out to work really well), and for her activity we taught her the simple breath meditation of bringing focus to the physical sensations of your own breathing (as a first step towards more complex practices). The following week, we moved on to the practice of centering. We discussed the idea of our "spiritual center" as similar to your "center of balance" and talked about different techniques to use to help find your center, that "still place of peace" between breaths. Her activity for the week was to practice the centering meditation and answer some questions in her journal about what the practice was like, how it helped her or what made it seem difficult, etc. The following week, we moved on to grounding, with a brief meditation I wrote using a stone from her altar (as well as some Awen chanting — I feel a bit bad because we didn't take much time to actually talk about Awen itself, since she was already familiar with it from participating in Druid rituals in the past). We discussed how grounding provides us with a connection to both the realm of the gods and the "underworld" realm below us, like a try reaching our limbs into the sky seeking sunlight as well as reaching our roots down into the earth to find stability and nourishment. We talked about the idea of energy exchange, and how grounding can help us release anxiety or anger that is hindering or hurting us, as well as draw energy and support from the earth when we are feeling weak or tired. The grounding exercise was her activity for the week, with some more questions for journaling about the experience and how she felt about it.

Throughout March and April, for the most part we took a break from lessons. The stellium in Aries meant both Jeff and I were kind of going nuts with energy, and work and other commitments dominated our time so that weekends left us pretty wiped. We did have a chance towards the beginning to get into the next month of work, Calas of Water, which was dedicated to learning about communication, connection and emotion in different practices and beliefs of Druidry, specifically through the forms and structures of storytelling, mythology, poetry and music. The first week, we talked about ancient myths and fairytales and how they were used to pass on important ideas and information about the people and the land. We talked a little bit about how stories don't just give us information, but actually give us insight into a whole perspective or worldview. To demonstrate this, we asked Savanah for her weekly activity to choose a myth or fairytale she knew and rewrite it from the point of view of one of the minor characters. The next week, we didn't have time for a full lesson, but we did go over her work — her story was excellent, a retelling of the story about the boy who has to face a giant (I forget the name of it) told from the point of view of the bird he caught. Very creatively done!

Last week, we finally got back on track and combined the last two weeks of Calas of Water work to talk about poetry and music together. This worked out well and tied back into the work on mythology that we'd done previously (so it provided a good refresher) — we told the story of Amergin and the Milesians coming to Ireland and winning the land from the Tuatha de, and read her a (translated) version of the Song of Amergin where he sings to the land to praise and honor her. This provided an excellent example of the blurred lines between myth, poetry and music, and we talked about using "concrete sensory details" in power to give our language power and to evoke feelings and ideas without explaining them in the abstract. We then played her the song, "I Am," by the group Beltaine's Fire, which is a song both praising poetry and rhyme as tools for learning and memory, and also drawing on and re-imagines the Song of Amergin, providing another connection. I spent a lot of time talking about how the vibration of music in our bodies — especially when we sing together or dance to and play music — connects us in a very physical, literal way, making our bodies vibrate in harmony. (This idea seemed to impress Savanah quite a bit, because she asked me if I had memorized my "speech" or just knew it off the top of my head!)

This week we moved ahead into Gwyar of Water and our exploration of dreams, divination and visualization meditations as ways that we can communicate and connect with our subconscious mind, the gods, ancestors and spirits of the land. We'd asked Savanah to keep a dream journal for the past week, so we spent some time going over the dreams she remembered and what they might mean, how they made her feel, etc. We talked about dream interpretation more generally and how the subconscious mind often uses symbols, images and emotions to communicate indirectly, instead of spelling everything out for us logically and rationally. We talked a bit about how dreaming helps us to integrate our waking experiences more deeply into who we are (like water churned up by activity slowly settling and becoming clear again during a period of rest), and that's why we might have dreams about activities that are either new to us or dominated the time we were awake on a particular day.

We also discussed divination techniques and how they worked, using very similar images and symbolic associations as dreams do. (This was originally going to be week two for this month's lessons, but we won't be seeing them next weekend and we're still trying to play catch up, so in order to give her enough work to do during that extra week we decided to introduce the idea of divination now and continue to expand on it when we see her again). Savanah is still struggling to believe that she is capable of doing the work we ask her to do, and will panic (or exaggerate her anxiety) whenever we suggest something that might be a challenge — to overcome this during this lesson, I asked her to try to think of five different divination techniques that she knew of just from reading books and seeing movies and talking to people. Sure enough, she was quickly and easily able to list off five: tarot, runes, palm reading, tea leaves and crystal balls. We talked about how each of these techniques worked, what you did, and why that approach was able to put you in touch with your nonrational/subconscious mind (or the gods — I think when we return to this subject, we'll focus more on how the gods come into it). We also talked about the larger categories that these specific divination techniques fell into and what other types would be included (for instance, looking for shapes in clouds, entrails or even ugly wallpaper is similar to tea leaf reading; gazing into water or a black mirror or even a thumb nail is similar to using a crystal ball, ogham is similar to using runes, etc.).

For her activities for the next two weeks, we've made recordings of the centering/grounding exercise from the Nwyfre of Earth lessons for her to listen to, so that she can practice these meditation techniques each morning. Jeff also gave her a longer relaxation/visualization guided meditation to do next week before she goes to bed in the evening, to get her used to the technique of visualizing before we move on to the third week of this month's lesson. In addition, we've asked her to do three tarot readings using her tarot deck (asking whatever questions she wants and coming up with her interpretations of the cards before looking in the book for their "official" meanings). And lastly, we've asked her to keep on recording her dreams in her journal as well, and to answer a few journaling questions next week on any kinds of patterns that she notices about her dreams.

So the work is going well, really. Every time I go back over the general outline, I'm excited by how much cool stuff we're going to cover over the coming months. I also worry a little bit that it won't all sink in (for instance, discussions we have months ago about using grounding to help siphon off nervous energy are obviously not helping Savanah very much in controlling her panic at times!)… and I wonder if we're trying to do too much too fast. But I think in general it's important to give an overview so that she has some sense of how it all fits together and can go back and explore more in-depth on her own if she chooses to. Since it really is all connected and intertwined, any little bit that "sticks" can eventually lead her back to the rest… and since Jeff and I are pretty well-versed and deep in our practice, there are some lessons that we manage to impart over and over, themes that keep reappearing no matter what specific topic we're talking about. I think those themes are also influenced by Savanah's particular needs — for instance, listening continues to be a lesson we come back to again and again, noting how important it is to listen in order to connect, learn, show respect, calm ourselves and find our centers, and listen to the messages of our own bodies, emotions and minds. I don't think that Jerilynn, for instance, will need as much reminding about the importance of listening as her sister, who is incredibly talkative and active while Jerilynn tends to be quiet and inquisitive. But we may face other challenges with Jerilynn that we didn't with Savanah… it's hard to guess almost two years in advance. I really am looking forward to continuing this work with all the kids, and eventually working this material into a book (or two or three?) at some later point. And it's very good to spend this time one-on-one with Savanah — it's made a big difference in how both Jeff and I relate to her, and her readiness to confide in and connect with us. For that alone, I think it's definitely worth it.

A note on the structure of the course itself… I think overall, it's working well. Now that I'm investigating astrology more and exploring the overlap between the three Druidic elements and the cardinal, fixed and mutable aspects of the four elements in the zodiac… I'm wondering if it might be interesting to experiment with a year-long study similar to the kind TDN has set up with their Perennial Course in Living Druidry. Setting things up so that, for instance, the lessons of Nwyfre of Earth correspond with the cardinal earth zodiac sign of Capricorn (Dec. 21 - Jan. 21) and Gwyar of Water correspond with the mutable water sign of Pisces (Feb. 21 - March 21). It might be interesting to play with the order in this way… though the order and structure I have it set up in right now feels very natural, building on what came before. Mixing things up might make it more difficult… but, on the other hand, it would also "personalize" the year-long study course according to each person's birthday, which might be particularly good for young people. It might force me to simplify the lessons as well, in the same way TDN's course lessons are fairly simple but still profound. I'll explore this possibility as I learn more about astrology and keep it in mind, at least.

DOTR Lesson 4: Air

Sun: taurus (earth/fixed), 6:07am - 8:26pm
Moon: waxing gibbous, virgo (earth/mutable)
Earth: gorgeous and sunny, bright morning, with an afternoon getting up near 80º with thundershowers

I've done a pretty poor job of keeping up with this diary over the past month or so, but that doesn't mean I haven't continued my spiritual work, as well as work more specifically pertaining to DOTR. Sometimes it's difficult to remember to journal here, just because so much of my work seems to tie back in to my spiritual life and path in one way or another, though perhaps not always in clearly definable ways. In any case, I just finished some meditation on Air (for Lesson 3), and I wanted to spend some time noting a few important bits. But (as to be expected, I suppose), I'm feeling a bit "air headed" and scatter brained at the moment, so don't expect too much coherence.

First, a reflection on Air as an element. On Monday morning, I sat outside and did a simple ritual of meditation and connection with the element of Air (though, thanks to the brilliant weather we've been having, I also made passing acquaintance with Fire in the form of sunlight and, subsequently, sunburn). I haven't been keeping up with my meditation as much as I would like, and there have been plenty of things to distract me (more on that later), so I wasn't able to sink deeply into trance or anything like that. But rather than force it, I simply allowed myself to spend time with the element as it expressed itself in my immediate landscape. I felt the breeze on my skin, listened to it play through the wind chimes in the backyard, and watched as it moved the spiraling incense smoke this way and that, turning first away from me, then surrounding me, then lifting up to disappear into the air above me.

Sitting inside this morning to do meditation, I again watched the incense and not for the first time marveled at how solid the forms of smoke seemed, how they kept their shape (though that shape was definitely mutable and spiraling and every-changing) and I could watch one bend or curl of smoke as it wafted on its own unique journey through the barely moving currents of air in the room until it slowly faded — not so much dissipating as simply disappearing, fading away.

This brings my mind back to the relationship between the four classical elements (earth, air, fire and water) and the three Druidic elements of nwyfre, gwyar and calas. In JMG's Druidry Handbook, I always found the explanation rather dissatisfying. It seems to me that these three v. four are distinct systems of understanding the world, with their own implications, and if that's true then one should be able to bring them to bear on one another. Instead, in the Handbook, the four seem simply an extension of the three — so that the implication is the three are somehow incomplete — and nwyfre seems to morph and change not in any essential way, but more as a matter of convenience, taking on whatever extra role seems necessary. Really, the three Druidic elements as JMG presents them seem like a hobbled version of the four classical elements, less like a three-legged stool than a four-legged chair you've taken a saw to. In our teaching work with Savanah, Jeff and I have tried to develop both an understanding of the three elements as complete in themselves, and an understanding of how the four elements can be understood in relation to the three. Anyone who talks to a twelve year old probably knows that you need to know your shit and have your explanations clear if you want to escape endless scrutiny. It took a while to explain why gwyar was different from water, for instance, and calas not quite the same as earth, and so on. But it's been helpful work, and has forced me to articulate some things in my own approach.

The approach I use now is that the three Druidic elements can be understood as guiding principles or aspects of the world. I understand them, most simply, as form, flow and force (for calas, gwyar and nwyfre). Thus, calas is the principle of form, manifestation, boundaries, limits, distinction and individuality. Gwyar is the principle of flow, exchange, movement, communication, connection and freedom. And nwyfre is the principle of force, energy, initiative, desire (and repulsion), drive and life-force in the kind of spiritual sense. Each of these describes aspects that can be found in absolutely everything in the physical (and nonphysical) world.

How do these relate to the four classical elements of earth, air, fire and water? Here I borrow an understanding from astrology (and as I study more, the more I see how much insight this approach has to offer!). The three Druidic elements can be likened to the three qualities in astrology known as cardinal (corresponding in my understanding with nwyfre), mutable (with gwyar) and fixed (with calas) — for each of the twelve zodiac, a sign is a combination of one of these three aspects with one of the four classical elements. Thus, you have Taurus as fixed earth while Virgo is mutable earth, Leo is fixed fire while Aries is cardinal fire, and so on. The three combined in this way with the four create twelve, each with its own particular expression. Taking a cue from astrology then, I see the three Druidic elements as principles or aspects, and I see the four classical elements as qualities or "building blocks," so to speak. Each of the four classical elements has a quality to it that can be expressed by any of the three principles. Thus earth is dark, cool, dry and heavy; air is bright, light, hot and moist; fire is bright, light, hot and dry, water is dark, cool, moist and heavy. These combination of qualities mean each element has particular associations as well — times, places, objects, tools and other symbols that best exemplify or embody the quality particular to that element. (So, for instance, the seasons: spring as warm and moist, summer as hot and dry, fall as cool and moist, winter as cold and dry.)

But the key here is that each of the elements can be expressed through any of the principles represented by the three Druidic elements. Thus, we can have fire as a quality expressed in calas - that principle of a physical fire which gives it shape and definition in our experiential engagement, which imbues it with a kind of perceivable form, that gives it an edge and a boundary. Fire expressed in gwyar is the process of combustion and consumption, the transformation of fuel into flame through a reaction and exchange. Or, another example, earth in calas is, most simply, the material world itself, all around us, which we experience as a realm of form and manifestation, full of distinct entities with limits, boundaries that bump up against one another. Earth expressed by the principle of nwyfre, on the other hand, is the urge in Spirit itself to manifest through form and limit. It is the spark, the initiative, the force of life that gives rise to form, that seeks to consolidate itself into particular organized entities. It is the energy of nwyfre expressed through the quality of darkness and opacity and heaviness.

These are just preliminary thoughts, and I have work to do to tease out the details and how each combination really works. Some qualities (four elements) seem to have particular affinity with certain principles (three elements). (For instance, the element of water is deeply related to the element or principle of gwyar.) So one thing I want to do during this time of revisiting the four elements through the DOTR work is to explore how each of the four elements is expressed or exemplified or affected by the three Druidic elements as principles of being. I'm hoping my divination work will help with this as well. Not only do I plan to keep studying astrology during this time, but I'm also looking into Erynn Rowan Laurie's book on the ogham, in which she talks about using three full sets (of 20) for three "currents" — chthonic, oceanic and celestial — corresponding to the three realms. My understanding of the three Druidic elements of calas, gwyar and nwyfre is that they also correspond to the three realms… though exactly how they correspond is something I'm still working out, and some of it will depend on my deeper research into this approach to ogham.

In particular, on that note, I find myself wavering between associating calas or gwyar with the chthonic/earthy realm. My two patron deities, Brigid Star Fire and Manannan, seem to dwell in tension with each other, with Brigid very much a deity of sky and the celestial, while Manannan is not only a deity of the ocean, but of the depths and the darkness, so that he also seems connected to the "underground" (as well as the mists that rise from the earth to obscure our way, and the rain that pours from the sky and soaks into the earth, seeking its depths). This is another issue that I have with the DOTR Three Realms practice itself. Maybe because of my aesthetic sense of my need for balance (or because I am overly analytical about these things) — I find myself wanting to reach down to connect with "water" (or more specifically, with gwyar) below instead of with "earthy" aspects associated with calas and the land. For me, the blue, deep, dark, heavy, moist, watery qualities below can then be brought into relationship with the yellow, high, bright, light, dry, fiery celestial energies of nwyfre above…. mixing and mingling and expressing themselves in the green aspects of calas and the land, the realm of form and manifestation.

The tree then, a mighty presence of the land, is a symbol of that bridge and that relationship — reaching its branches and leaves up into the sky for sunlight and air, and reaching its roots deep into the earth in search of water and nutrients…. at both these extremes, you have fluidity, exchange, change and a kind of blurring of boundaries, a liminality where Tree merges with that which is seeks. And then, having received the gifts of the heights and the depths, the fire and the water, these extremes, opposites, are integrated and brought into relationship in such a way that you have the "middle earth," the land we walk upon as a meeting place of these other realms, the realm of unique manifestation and expression, individuality and boundaries. The individual can be lost in the mysteries of the depths just as in the celestial mysteries — there is a dark mysticism as well as a bright mysticism. But the "real world" of sensual, sensory experience, where we know ourselves as distinct entities for the most part (only sometimes sinking into depths or rising to heights where we forget our "selves" completely in union with something greater)… that's the realm of calas, of the land, and the Tree. It seems to me that a daily spiritual practice works best (in my experience, anyway) when it teaches us how to bring the more liminal, fluid mysteries of the depths and the heights and integrate them and express them in the everyday world around us. In Kabbalism, as I understand it, there's the idea of climbing up the tree to reach those heights, and then bringing that energy back down "the lightning strike zigzagging through the ten sefirot. But in this idea, the tree not only reaches up towards the celestial, but down as well, into the depth and darkness of the "underworld," and that energy and experience is brought into relationship from both directions into a center. (Plus, blue + yellow = green, duh!)

Is this "underworld" of watery depths and darkness most appropriately called "chthonic"? I'm not sure — I haven't ever used that term much. Perhaps "oceanic" makes more sense, especially since we tend to think (even if just metaphorically) of the lands kind of "floating" on the oceans (and understanding the underground lakes and rivers, the moistness of caves, and even the liquid molten rock below the earth's crust, it makes a kind of literal sense as well). If that's the case, then, does chthonic fit well with the idea of the Tree as bridge between celestial and oceanic, and the land as a kind of "middle ground" where these two Mysteries are brought into manifestation? I can't answer that, because I don't know enough about what the word "chthonic" is supposed to imply (though my first instinct is to answer no, it doesn't quite fit). Still, the relationship between "fire" and "water" (not as elements, now, but as symbols or representatives of the realms, I guess) is something that seems to rest at the core of my Celtic spirituality…. So it's worth exploring. Perhaps I'll tidy this up a bit and post it to the DOTR group blog for some feedback.

This became a long, rambling exploration in a rather more abstract way than I'd originally intended. This was all sparked by my observation during meditation of the way the incense smoke hung together, spiraling around itself — or, the other day, cast shadows on my arms and chest as I sat in the sunlight — bringing to mind again that this smoke, and the air currents themselves, are still very much expressing themselves in calas. The air currents, though they seem invisible to the human eye, are just as distinct, real things as fire or earth (or water and its slightly less invisible currents). To the birds who fly through the air, or the dogs and other animals navigating by scent, the currents of air are palpable presences, distinct bodies with their own boundaries. A story David Abram tells in his book, Becoming Animal, illustrates this point nicely — he describes one time watching ducks flying into a hard wind, dipping here and there, testing to find the edges of the strongest current of air and where there were slips and gaps in the wall of wind coming at them that they could push their way through. For the ducks, the air was as solid and bounded a thing as the landscapes of hills and valleys, forests and fields that we walk through, looking for our own slips and gaps to help us make our way. So air has expression in calas, in the realm of form and manifestation. The invisible, the unseen still has an active presence in and engagement with the manifest world. And as I watched the incense smoke, I understand that the element of Air, too, has its limits and boundaries.

I did want to talk a little bit about some other work I've been doing, but it seems that most of the morning has passed while I've been writing this (and I haven't even done a tarot card reading!). So I'll wrap things up here and maybe come back to it later. I am going to try to be more diligent in writing down these various reflections and experiences. I swear!

Savanah's Year: Calas of Earth, Week 3 & Review

I didn't have a chance to write up any notes on last week's lesson, perhaps mostly because Jeff took the lead in doing most of the talking and discussion-prompting. As our last week of lessons for Calas of Earth, we focused on our houses and homes as living spaces that help to shape us and manifest our relationship with the land around us, as use the materials of the physical world to craft shelters that give us safety of both the physical and the spiritual kind. Jeff talked a bit about his friend, Slade, who has experience building relationships with house spirits. We asked Savanah to pay attention to the different spaces she's in throughout the week and ask herself questions about how they make her feel, and why. What kinds of spaces does she enjoy being in and that make her feel comfortable or welcome, and what kinds of spaces make her feel uncomfortable or anxious.

As has become the pattern, Savanah didn't complete these assignments or answer the questions in any depth. In the past, I think she's either forgotten or couldn't think of any answers; this past week, she says she was so busy doing all sorts of craft projects in preparation for Christmas coming that she didn't have any time to look over the questions until Friday - at which point she realized she hadn't been paying attention to the spaces she was in all week.

This week's lesson was a review session where we spent almost the entire time teaching her how to use her Tarot deck the "official" way (instead of just flipping through and picking out cards, as we've had her doing before). But first, we went over some of her previous assignments, since she did remember to bring her Druid journal with her. Jeff read out loud her long description of her twelve (now fourteen) plants in her room, each described with care and a detailed history of its growth and health, and most of them concluding that they "needed more love and attention." Some of her descriptions of the plants were very detailed and well-written, which suggests she definitely has the talent and skill, if only she could find the interest. We also spent some time looking over the four elements correspondence exercises we gave her the week before last, which involved her brainstorming different images, objects, animals, plants and landscapes to match each of the four classic elements of earth, air, fire and water. She did an excellent job with those exercises (and was able to do drawings of six of the seven - the four classic elements plus gwyar and nwyfre - instead of the story-writing exercise, although she forgot the drawings at her mom's house).

We used these exercises to transition to talking about the tarot cards. First, we had her pick a card at random - she drew the Ace of Pentacles - and then Jeff and I each pulled that card from our respective decks laid them in a row to compare the imagery and talk about common themes. Then, we looked at the first elemental exercise - choosing the tarot card that she thought best represented each element and then listing what aspects of the card connected to that element for her - and we went through each of the four cards she'd chosen doing the same thing. This proved really interesting, since Jeff uses a Buddha Tarot deck that is very different from what I'm used to. My deck, in many ways, has a more traditional use of imagery and symbolism than either Jeff's or Savanah's, so we were able to make effective comparisons across a pretty broad spectrum. The cards Savanah chose were: Strength for earth, Judgement for air, the Ten of Wands for fire, and the Star for water.

One thing that I did notice quite a bit during these discussions was that Savanah has real difficulty sitting quietly and listening for any length of time - she is fond of interrupting, sometimes with clearly tangential or miscellaneous observations. My impression is that she does this in order to be funny, but it becomes quite disruptive when Jeff or I are trying to explain an idea in depth or answer one of her own questions in a way that requires some complexity and subtlety. And yet, when asked questions directly, she often seems very hesitant to provide answers or probe more in-depth beyond an initial response. This, to me, seems like it might be a defense mechanism for when she doesn't know for sure or is afraid of being wrong. I'm not sure how to encourage her to calm down and reach a place where she is receptive to the kinds of connections and insights that deeper analysis and self-awareness require. This is definitely a challenge, and one that I think Jeff and I are still trying to figure out how to handle. Perhaps we are expecting too much from her - but I'm honestly not sure. I do know that not all kids develop at the same rate, so we're doing our best to tailor the lessons to her skills and interests as a way of leading her more deeply into areas that might not be as familiar to her. But gods, is it tough sometimes. (This is one of those times when I wish we were on better terms with her mother, because then we might be able to ask her if she's had similar experience with the homeschooling, or how she approaches this challenge. Perhaps if Savanah does eventually end up going to school, we'll be able to consult with teachers? Maybe I should ask my aunt Pat. I think she has experience with kids around Savanah's age.)

We then moved on to actual readings. Since we were having Savanah use the cards to answer three questions, Jeff and I each demonstrated by asking one question and using our decks to answer. Each of us has a slightly different way of shuffling and choosing our cards, so we also explained the differences and the reasons behind our choices. Afterwards, we had Savanah do her reading - she chose to shuffle the deck between each question, and tended to use her dad's way of picking the cards (which is to move slowly through the deck, cards face down, until one seems to "jump out" as the right one to pick).

For the first question, "What message does the land have for me?" she drew the Five of Swords. The interpretation of this card in her book was about a conflict or disagreement, along with the suggestion that perhaps careful thought and reasoning, attempting to see things from many different sides, might help in finding a solution. During our discussion about this card, we asked her how this card might reflect her relationship with the land around her, and what she thought the message might be. She mentioned how she very much wants to have her own plot in the garden at her mother's house, but Emily and Jeremy told her no, because if she's gone on vacation then there will be no one to take care of it and the plants would die. Savanah explained to me that this was not a satisfying reason, since she's never gone for more than a week at a time, and most of the work necessary for the garden wouldn't be more often than once a week after the initial planting period. She also said she could ask (or "hire") her brother to take care of her plot while she was away in the summer. When I asked her if she'd brought up these issues with her mom as a way of trying to reach a compromise through sharing her reasons and suggestions, Savanah said that it didn't matter because the truth was that Emily and Jeremy just don't want her to do it, so they would keep inventing reasons and, once exhausted, simply end with, "Because I said so." This seemed like an amazingly accurate insight to Jeff and me, as we'd just been talking about that exact issue with Emily the night before. So again, I'm not sure what message is meant for Savanah, but part of what arose from the conversation is the very obvious conflict between her desire for more independence, and her mom and step-dad's refusal to compromise or allow her that opportunity.

For the second question, "What message does my physical body have for me?" Savanah drew the Eight of Swords. By this time, Jeff had left to go start lunch (this was quite a long session), so Savanah and I talked about what the card might mean. In the book that accompanied her deck, this card was described as a situation in which she might feel restricted or helpless, but help and hope were closer than she may realize, if she could take a deep breath, relax and look at the broader situation. For a while we talked about what this might mean as a message from her body - perhaps he body was asking her to calm down a bit and relax more, allow herself to get adequate sleep and rest. For a while she seemed unsure and didn't think the card meant anything. Then she said something occurred to her that it might mean, but she didn't want to share it with me.

For the third question, "What message does my living space have for me?" she chose to focus on her mother's house and in particular her room (which she shares with her brother). The card she drew for this was the Ten of Pentacles, which is a very good card indicating hard work and cooperation resulting in a good harvest and a happy home. I asked her if she thought this was a relevant card for her room at her mom's. Although she seemed somewhat receptive, she did bring up the fact that she very much wants her own room because it's often impossible to get any alone time in the house and she's not allowed to lock the door. She said she wished either she or Josh could move into the guest room that nobody uses, so that she could have some space that was just her own. I'm honestly not sure if this is an option her mom is willing to entertain, considering apparently she's planning on having more kids as soon as possible.

By this time, we'd pretty much wrapped up the session, with no assignments over the course of this coming week. Next weekend we begin her lessons in Gwyar of Earth. Jeff and I are planning to begin each lesson with some time in silent "meditation," gazing at the candle flame and breathing gently for a little while. We're slowly transitioning - from simply lighting the candle at the beginning of each lesson, to this, to actual meditation that we'll be teaching her the basics of next month, during Nwyfre of Earth. Hopefully next week she'll also remember to bring her drawings for the elements, and perhaps complete the last drawing for calas.

Savanah's Year: Calas of Earth, Week 2

So, of course, this week I was able to take some time and prepare a lesson plan for Savanah — and we barely had time to hold the actual lesson. We were late getting back from the library, where Jeff spent a lot of time talking to a librarian trying to find some more challenging books for Savanah (who is reading books slightly below her reading level at this point), and so we barely had half an hour for this week's lesson. What made this even more difficult was that Savanah forgot and/or lost her Druid journal and so spent a few panicked minutes looking for it before settling down with us. When we tried to go over her journal questions from last week, she admitted that she hadn't written down her answers but had only "thought about them." But getting her to give more complex answers than one or two words was like pulling teeth.

This is an issue that I suspect will keep coming up for us. As I said before, sometimes I'm at a loss as to how to ask questions in a way that will deepen the responses they evoke. Questions like "what kinds of things prevent us from appreciating our kinship with the earth?" seem really wonderful and full of complexity when I think about how I might answer them — but perhaps they are a bit too vague or too broad to elicit a response from a twelve year old. (Savanah's response was, "Money." When we prompted her further, she said, "Because people want money, and they have to do things that are bad for the earth in order to get money.") Or maybe it's not twelve year olds in general, but something more specific to Savanah and how she reasons. What I do know is that the word-matching exercises prompted a great deal of really insightful and interesting discussion, as she gave her reasons for her choices and explained her thought processes. So I know that she has some complexity of thought in her, it's just a matter of figuring out how to prompt her and getting her to articulate it on her own without so much prompting.

In any case, today's lesson was a bit rushed and there was a bit more of Jeff and I "lecturing" than of mutual discussion. We talked about the body as a scared landscape, the expression of our soul in the world; we also used the metaphor of the body as a work of art that the world and the soul are creating together through their interaction (which got her to ask a really intriguing question about whether genes and the "instructions of the body for how to grow" counted as part of the world or part of the self — see! a fantastic question!). We discussed the idea of the body being an instrument of the soul-song, and the reasons why it's so important to take care of the body by listening to its needs, giving it plenty of rest and exercise, feeding it well and not putting too much stress (physically or emotionally) on it. She seemed less engaged with this conversation, even a bit intimidated by it. I tried to talk a little bit about why these things were important, and how as she grows older she will sometimes find that other people put pressure on her to ignore her body and its needs and take it for granted or treat it as a tool or an object, and how it is important for her to be able to make decisions about her body from a place of strength and love, knowing how to honor her body as a sacred home for her soul and an expression of her self. I'm not sure how much of this meant anything to her, and how much of it was over her head. I hope some of it will sink in or stick for her to at least remember in the future.

Because we'll be missing next weekend with her because of Thanksgiving, we wanted to give her some extra assignments to do over the course of two weeks. So in addition to two more journaling questions, I made up some more elemental exercises similar to the word-matching exercises.These involve brainstorming images, symbols, plants, animals and places and mapping them onto a wheel of the elements (earth, air, fire and water placed in on the top, right, bottom and left of a circle and connected by lines intersecting through the middle of the circle). The third exercise asked her to use the images, creatures and places from the previous two and try to write a story about a character going on a "journey through the elements" around the circle, meeting different creatures and beings in different places and having different experiences along the way. I thought this might be a fun exercise that would get her imagination going and give her some room to play and be creative...

I was totally wrong. About half an hour after Jeff returned from dropping off the kids, Emily called to say Savanah was up in her room crying because of her Druid assignment. She put Savanah on the phone and Jeff talked to her about what was wrong — apparently, she was feeling very intimidated by the assignment to write the story and was worried she couldn't do it (well, she outright stated that she knew she couldn't do it). So we talked about it with her and what she might like to do instead, and came to a compromise — she'll be drawing pictures for each of the elements based on her word associations and brainstorming. Jeff and I are hoping that perhaps we can work up to the story-telling, maybe having her do one section of it as part of the review for each of the elements after the three months of work for each one. Or perhaps we can come up with some other kind of large project that she can slowly build over time, incorporating writing and drawing and other forms of self-expression.

What does concern me a little bit is the fact that she felt so intimidated by the assignment. Granted, I don't have a lot of experience with pre-teens and all, but I didn't think the story-telling exercise was that far beyond her and I know she's tried to do some writing in the past. So I'm surprised by her reaction (though Jeff seems to think it was at least in part because she was feeling tired and rushed, and maybe she'll feel more confident about it tomorrow or as the week goes on). But coupled with our trip to the library, where she picked out books that were a reading level down from where she probably should be at (and not because she can't read harder books, I think, but just because those books were a series she enjoyed).... it makes me wonder a bit if she's being challenged enough by homeschooling. She has three younger siblings that her mother is also trying to teach at the same time, after all. Jeff and I were trying to remember the types of school assignments we had at her age, and both of us seem to recall much harder assignments than a simple story-writing exercise with two full weeks to complete it. Of course, both Jeff and I are writers at heart, and we're very much aware of not wanting to push our passions onto her. (That's why I suggested the alternative of drawing some pictures — she seems much more into the drawing, and has been working slowly through a book of mine about how to draw whenever she's over at our place.) On the other hand, writing is such an essential skill for almost all walks of life, and if her reaction to an assignment like this one is to get so upset, it really does make me worry about her eventually confronting challenges in school will not go very well. Emily seemed a bit annoyed that we "made her cry".... which is, granted, a mother's natural reaction and we certainly felt bad about it. At the same time, this year is about teaching her how to confront those challenges and even the ups and downs of her own emotions and to be okay in learning how to deal with them in healthy ways. So I think working up to a story-writing project, and having her work through her fears that she "can't do it," will both be good for her.

This is good learning experience for me, trying to figure out what kind of pace to move at. I'm sure it will be different with the other kids, too, which is why I want to take notes on all of this and be able to compare notes in future years. So, all in all, a rushed lesson this week but still hopefully not a waste. Next week the kids will be out of town for Thanksgiving family visits, and then the week after that we'll have them back and Savanah's next lesson in Calas of Earth will be thinking about her home environment and living space as sacred. So we'll see how that goes (and I have plenty of time to both prepare that week's lesson and finish the full outline of the months and weeks to come).

Savanah's Year: Calas of Earth, Week 1

Just finished this week's lesson with Savanah, which went very well despite her having a pretty icky head cold.

To begin, we went over her "homework" from the previous week, matching up different associations and words for the four classical elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water and the three Druidic "elements" or aspects of Calas, Gwyar and Nwyfre. Surprisingly, she did better on the three aspects than on the four elements, although I think most people assume the four elements are more widely-known and more natural for people. We spent a lot of time talking about what mistakes she made with the associations with the four elements and what her reasoning was. Sometimes her thoughts were very sound (matching "east" with water and "west" with air because, where we live, the ocean is towards the east and our winds and weather come from the west), and other times they made less sense (matching "salmon" with air instead of water). She's already doing some really excellent work, though, in thinking things through and understanding how to make the associations and connections, though. For instance, her reasoning for putting salmon with air was because she knew air and "intellect" matched up and she remembered the Celtic tale of the Salmon of Wisdom, so she connected the salmon with intelligence. This gave us the opportunity to talk about "wisdom" and "intelligence" and ways in which they might be different; we discussed how a "wisdom of the heart" understands and appreciates the connections and relationships between things, and how patterns of relationship flow into one another. Not all wisdom is the impersonal calculations and measuring of the intellect, but each has their place.

So in general, that exercise went very well and opened up a lot of opportunities for discussion, which was fantastic. I think Savanah is really into the work so far and has a lot to say about her own thought processes, and her own worries. We moved on to this week's work, which was Week 1 of "Calas of Earth," in which we began by talking about the basic foundation of our spirituality as rooted in the sacred earth and a reverence for the five senses and the physical world around us. The nature of calas as "form" which gives rise to relationship, and thus to boundaries and limits and the importance of negotiating these with honor and love, brought up her anxieties about not knowing what "her calas" was yet, and so worrying that she might not know how to engage with others'. That's fantastic! I mean, of course she doesn't know all of her talents, gifts and limitations yet, but this year is in part about finding out what those are, and learning what our relationships with others and with the natural world can teach us about our own "calas," our own form in this world.

Her "assignment" for this coming week is to spend some time thinking about, talking to and listening to her (rather extensive) plant collection, and to journal about her relationship with the creatures, plants and people in her life. She also has two questions to answer: what kinds of things can interfere with our ability to appreciate the natural world, and what kinds of limits do we as human beings experience when trying to live honorably and in harmony with the natural world? I'm really looking forward to next week's lesson and hearing some of her thoughts on these topics.