A Druid Wedding Ceremony

Opening Processionals

Processional of Family Blessings and Guests
(Musical Accompaniment - “Concerning Hobbits” Lord of the Rings Soundtrack, 2:50)

Led by Officiant, MoB and FoB process down the boardwalk and onto the beach at the head of the guests. MoB carries a basket of sea shells; FoB carries handfasting cord and rings. Officiant proceeds to the front to stand before the altar, accompanied by the FoB who places cord and rings on the altar. MoB stands at the top entrance to the circle, offering a shell to each guest as they enter. Siblings (plus family) of Bride and Groom bring up the rear of guest processional and take their seats nearest the front of the altar on either side. After all guests have entered the circle and been seated, MoB and FoB take their seats next to the Sibling of the Bride.

Processional of the Elements
(Musical Accompaniment - “The Black Isle/Brunswick Street,” 4:10)

Fire and Water | Together, the Fire-bearer (Savanah) and Water-bearer (Josh) process down the boardwalk and onto the beach. Upon approaching the circle, they proceed around the outer rim in a clockwise direction, the Fire-bearer holding the lantern aloft while the Water-bearer sprinkles drops of water (sparingly!) onto the sand. Upon reaching the top of the circle again, together they process down the center aisle to place Fire and Water onto the altar, then take their seats.

Air and Earth | Together, the Incense-bearer (Jerilynn) and the Flower-girl (Fiona) process down the boardwalk and onto the beach. Upon approaching the circle, they proceed around the outer rim in a clockwise direction, the Incense-bearer holding the bowl of incense aloft while the Flower-girl scatters flower petals and herbs onto the sand. Upon reaching the top of the circle again, together they process down the center aisle to place Air and Earth onto the altar, then take their seats.

Bride and Groom Processional
(Musical Accompaniment - “Inner Light/Picard Flute Solo”)

Together, the Bride and Groom process down the boardwalk and onto the beach. Upon approaching the circle, the proceed around the outer rim in a clockwise direction, pausing at each of the four directions to whisper prayers of peace and welcome to the elements. Upon reaching the top of the circle again, together they process down the center aisle to stand before the Officiant at the altar.

Welcome & Invocations

Welcoming

Officiant rings a small bell to mark that the rite has begun.

OFFICIANT:

Today, we gather together - family and friends - to celebrate the loving union of Jeff and Alison. On this threshold of Land, Sea and Sky, we welcome the blessings of the Three Realms into our lives.

I invite you all to close your eyes for a few moments and simply be present to all who are gathered here today. Feel the sands beneath your feet, firm and soft. Like the sacred oak, we sink our roots deep into the soil to seek nourishment and support. We drink deeply of the waters that flow beneath us, refreshed by the rains that fall and soak into ground. Above us, the sun’s light energizes and warms us, feeding our spirits. The breeze caresses us as it dances by, carrying the many scents and sounds of the life all around us. Here on this shore, the Three Realms mingle their voices in a single song - the Song of the World - in which the melodies of our lives are joined.

[pause]

Open your eyes.

Invocations with Offerings

OFFICIANT:

In Druidry, we honor the many relationships that shape our lives. Just as Jeff and Alison have gathered their family and friends here to witness and share in their joy today, so do they also welcome the presence of the gods, the memory of their ancestors and the spirits of the living land as members of this sacred community.

BRIDE & GROOM:

We welcome and honor the gods, you who are sources of guidance, love and inspiration. Accept this offering as a symbol of our gratitude and praise.

Bride and Groom each offer a pinch of herbs to the incense.

BRIDE & GROOM:

We welcome and honor the ancestors, you who came before us in wisdom, memory and courage. Accept this offering as a symbol of our gratitude and praise.

Bride and Groom each offer a few drops of melted butter to the fire.

BRIDE & GROOM:

We welcome and honor Mama Anu, Mother Earth, and all the beings of this land, you who dwell in air, fire, water, earth and spirit. Accept this offering as a symbol of our gratitude and praise.

Bride and Groom pour a libation of water to soak into the sands.

Readings & Reflection

A Reading

“The Ponds,” by Mary Oliver - Read by Savanah


A Meditation on Love

Personal reflections on the seasons of love by the Officiant


A Song

Adapted from “Turn the World Around,” by Harry Belafonte - Sung by Jerilynn

Commitment & Vows

The Handfasting

Fiona takes the handfasting cord from the altar and presents it to Officiant.

OFFICIANT:

Alison and Jeff, please join hands.

Officiant drapes the handfasting cord across the joined hands of Bride and Groom. With each affirmation, Officiant loops the handfasting cord (loosely) once more around the couple’s joined hands.

OFFICIANT:

The swift hawk of dawn rides the currents of Air,
sharp in wit, far-sighted and clear in her will.
The rising sun illuminates her golden wings.
Her cry is a call of freedom on the winds.

Alison and Jeff, you stand here today
to pledge yourselves in marriage and love.
Do you come to this union freely,
guided by wisdom and clarity
and the true calling of your will?

BRIDE & GROOM:

We do.

OFFICIANT:

The bright stag of noon crests the hill as a leaping red Fire,
courageous and strong beneath a high, hot sun.
Through passion, he leads the hungering soul
on a wild chase across the threshold into new worlds.

Alison and Jeff, you stand here today
to pledge yourselves in marriage and love.
Do you come to this union bravely,
strong in your passion for one another
and ready to pursue it into a new life together?

BRIDE & GROOM:

We do.

OFFICIANT:

The wise salmon of dusk lingers in deep, cool Water
close to the secret, nourishing wellspring of the heart.
Her every movement embodies gentleness and grace.
Her gifts are compassion, kindness and attention.

Alison and Jeff, you stand here today
to pledge yourselves in marriage and love.
Do you come to this union gently,
attentive to each other's deepest needs
and open to the secrets of each other's hearts?

BRIDE & GROOM:

We do.

OFFICIANT:

The great bear of midnight moves slowly over the Earth,
lumbering through lush forests beneath a star-studded sky.
Close to soil and stone, rooted in the land,
his patience and loyalty shine like jewels in the dark.

Alison and Jeff, you stand here today
to pledge yourselves in marriage and love.
Do you come to this union steadfastly,
with commitment firmly rooted
in loyalty and mutual support?

BRIDE & GROOM:

We do.

With their final statement of intent, the Officiant knots the handfasting cord.

The Vows

With hands joined together by the handfasting cord, the Bride and Groom exchange the vows of their union. (Officiant speaks vows line by line, Bride and Groom repeat each line in unison.)

OFFICIANT:

This couple stands before you today with courage and commitment, with open eyes and open hearts, to affirm their love for each other. Jeff and Alison, please repeat after me.

VOWS:

I promise you a love as steady as the Land beneath us.
I promise to share with you the bounty of good times,
and to support and comfort you in times of need.
I promise to honor the mystery of individuality within you
and to respect your independence,
as you honor and respect my own.
I will rejoice in our differences as much as in our similarities
and cherish the love that grows between us.
This I promise, by stone, by calas (CAH-lahs), by bone, and by the sacred Land.

I promise you a love as boundless as the Sea that surrounds us.
I promise to share in your simplest joys and wildest hopes,
and to buoy you up when sorrow threatens to overwhelm you.
I promise to listen with understanding and attention
to your deepest desires and your darkest fears,
as you attend to mine.
I will always return to that love and gratitude
that is the source from which our union flows.
This I promise, by water, by gwyar (GOO-yar), by blood, and by the sacred Sea.

I promise you a love as eternal as the Sky above us.
I promise to carry the light of our love with me wherever life might take us,
and to be guided by that love as a traveler is guided by the faithful stars.
I promise to encourage you in your striving,
and to challenge you when you need a challenge,
as you encourage and challenge me.
I will join my life with yours as one melody
in harmony with the Song of the World.
This I promise, by fire, by nwyfre (NOOiv-ruh), by breath, and by the sacred Sky.

I promise to love and honor you all the days of my life.
By Land, Sea and Sky, this I vow.

OFFICIANT:

Though you cannot always be physically joined in this way, your vows and the love they promise remain true. [Officiant removes the handfasting cord from the joined hands of Bride and Groom, without untying the knot.] The cord is removed, but the bond remains strong and unbroken.

Officiant places the handfasting cord back upon the altar.

Exchange of Rings

Josh takes the rings from the altar and presents them to Officiant.

OFFICIANT:

These rings are a symbol of the vows you have made today.

Officiant presents each ring to Bride and Groom to place upon the other’s finger.

GROOM:

Alison, you are my best friend, my partner in life. Accept this ring as a reminder of my love and my promise.

BRIDE:

Jeff, you are my best friend, my partner in life. Accept this ring as a reminder of my love and my promise.

Blessings & Pronouncement

Blessing by Officiant

OFFICIANT:
[Personal blessing by the officiant.]

Pronouncement

OFFICIANT:

By the power vested in me by the State of North Carolina, it gives me great pleasure to pronounce you united in marriage!

Bride and Groom kiss!

Family Blessing with Seashells

Immediately following the pronouncement and kiss, Officiant asks guests to bless their shells with all of their joy and well-wishes for the newly-wed couple. Officiant then invites all guests to leave their seats and follow Bride and Groom down to the water’s edge. Guests toss their shells into the ocean on the couple’s count of three.

Presentation

Officiant rings the bell signifying the ceremony’s end.

OFFICIANT:

I present to you, Alison and Jeff Lilly!

Recessional/Receiving Line

(Musical Accompaniment - “Saltatio Vita” Omni, 4:34 + other songs)

Diary - Brighid, Lady of the Stars

Sun: leo (fixed fire), 6:35 AM - 8:11 PM
Moon: waning gibbous, taurus (fixed earth)
Earth: cool and bright this morning, though the air is thick with mist lying low in the grassy valleys of the park

A reader of my website asked me to elaborate on my relationship with Brighid as a stellar goddess. This is what I wrote in response:

S--,

That is a great question - in both senses of the word! It's a really good one, and it's also a really BIG one! :) I'll do my best to answer it briefly here, and I also have an "about the gods" post coming up in my 30 Days of Druidry meme where I'll probably touch on it a bit more.

My relationship with Brighid is very mutable and seems to always be in flux, but one thing that has remained consistent is my connection with her "darker" aspect. Lady Gregory described the goddess as having a face that was one half fair and beautiful, and one half dark and ugly. Up until then, I'd only ever read about her "light" aspect, her connection with fertility and inspiration and the sacred fire in all its various manifestations. When I read that line by Lady Gregory, though, suddenly something "clicked" for me, and Brighid as a goddess became suddenly much more complex and compelling to me. This relationship between light and dark mingling and rubbing up against one another creates that liminal space that is so much associated with Brighid - especially the saint, who was born at dawn on the threshold of the doorway, a daughter of a Druid chief and a Christian slave who grew up to become the most powerful saint in Ireland, even more than St. Patrick, as well as the first and only female bishop (so the legends go).

The goddess, too, has these liminal light-and-dark aspects in her lore. As one of the Tuatha dé Danann, she was a goddess of light, order and civilization. Yet in the wake of the war between the Tuatha dé and the Fomorians, she marries Bres, King of the Fomorians (and half-Tuatha dé himself) in an attempt to make peace and forge an alliance between the warring sides. Together, they have a son, who is later killed in battle as a result of a betrayal, and Brighid wails for him in grief - the first keening that was ever heard in Ireland. So here you have these deep connections between light and dark, joy and sorrow, peace and war, in the mythology surrounding her, and over and over she occupies a liminal position or place between the two. I think this is what Lady Gregory meant by saying her face was half light and half dark. As for the saint, it was said that St. Brighid was amazingly beautiful, but she was committed to becoming a nun with the church and did not want to marry, so to avoid a suitor she gouged out one of her eyes in order to make herself ugly, so that her face became literally half beautiful and half grotesque (afterwards, she restored her own eye in an act of miraculous healing). I think this story from the saint, as well as some of the lore surrounding Brighid as a goddess, shows her willingness to "go dark" when a higher purpose calls for it. It reminds me of a poem by Wendell Berry:

To go in the dark with a light is to know the light.
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.

So all of that is the basis of my view of Brighid in the lore, which you probably already mostly knew already! My personal relationship with her, beginning with that realization of her darker aspect, has consistently included an understanding of her as sometimes swinging between these light and dark sides. My first most powerful direct experience of her presence was during a time when I was traveling, feeling ungrounded and lonely and cut off - I was sitting in a hotel room alone at night watching the rain fall steadily in an unfamiliar city, and I saw the lights of the city reflected in the water and had an overwhelming sense of her presence as this vast, deep awareness that was so.... big that she passed over me like I was a speck of dust caught up on the hem of her mantle. She wasn't just "represented" by the light in the water, she was the light in the water, and so in that way she was absolutely everywhere, she was a natural force that was utterly enduring and changeable, no matter what came and went she would be there in some form or another.

For a while, then, my relationship with her involved the more common light-focused aspects of sacred fire and solar energies. I began keeping her flame with a Brighidine Cill and working with her creative energies as poet. But I was rarely able to connect with her other two traditional roles - the healer, and the smith. Then late last fall, I was in conversation with some others in the Cill about her various aspects, and someone brought up the work of smithcraft and the forge as a place of creation and transformation. I forget exactly how it happened, but through the conversation and the "lobbing of lightbulbs" back and forth, we began to collectively come to an understanding of Brighid as a kind of primordial creatrix figure.

I guess one way to think about it is that her aspect as a solar deity kind of "withdrew" into a far distance and her darker aspect once again asserted itself. "To know the dark, go dark" - associations with the dark heat of the forge, with its noise and steam and sweat and dull ember glow, out of which springs suddenly the spark of light as the hammer strikes the metal on the anvil.... all these were images we came to understand were an aspect of her connection with the stars, those far distant suns that were only pinpricks of light, but that stemmed from a "big bang" in the primordial past, the same that gave birth to our own sun. The metaphor of "fire in the water" has some deep connections in the Celtic worldview with the basic stuff of creation and creativity - and this was not only reflected in the creative process of poetry (the spark of inspiration in the "watery" realm of emotions), but also the hot springs of healing and the blacksmith's process of tempering metal using both fire and water to achieve the sharpest edge. The stars themselves are like sparks of light in the vast ocean of night. They are inconceivably far away, and yet their light reaches us steadily, so reliably that they have shaped our understanding of the very structure of the universe (through both astrology and modern astronomy) and have been used for centuries as guides for sailors navigating on the sea with no stable landmark to follow. In this way, stars are themselves in a kind of liminal space and they draw us into that space as well when we gaze on them. Unlike the moon (which can sometimes seem so big that it's almost right on top of you!), the stars on a moonless night seem to exert their own kind of gravity. I've spent nights star-gazing on top of Mount Cadillac, the tallest mountain on the eastern seaboard, and more than once have felt that giddy vertigo of suddenly feeling the earth as a tiny speck of dust in the vastness of space, a speck too small to hold me down. Because the stars are so far away, and yet so present to us through their endless, self-giving light, they seem to pull us into this place suspended between intimacy and mystery.

So when I talk about Brighid's "stellar" aspect, this is a little bit of what I mean. I see Brighid primarily as a celestial deity - a Shining One, a being of the heavens, of sky and space. As a celestial deity, her "light" aspect is expressed through her role as a solar goddess, a goddess of the sun and the fires here on earth that we have the most connection and relationship with. But she is also a stellar goddess in her "dark" aspect, in which the light itself retreats into the surrounding darkness and becomes hardly more than the pinpricks of the stars, yet still with all the same power and mystery about it. In both senses, she has this liminal quality to her, and there is often overlap. (As a goddess of the dawn, she strides between night and day, with not only the rising sun but also the "morning star" of Venus as companions!)

So I hope that answers your question at least a little bit. :) This is still a relationship that I'm exploring, and like I said, it swings between light and dark for me quite a bit. Over the winter, her stellar aspect was especially strong for me, whereas in spring and early summer her solar/fire aspect was much more powerful and present to me. Now I seem to be in a place of balance in my relationship with her (and this is partly due, I think, to my evolving relationship with Manannan, Son of the Sea).... So, we'll see. :)

--Ali

Brighid and Poetry

A post I made on TC in the Cauldron Cill SIG, where folks were discussing Brighid's connections to poetry in response to this quote:

I'm with Juni in interpreting the concept of poetry to include all learning, education, wisdom, and arts. From what we know about the ancient Celts, poetry was mostly the domain of the druids, and so much of their learning and teaching was wrapped up in poetry.

So, for me, when I think about poetry in the context of Brighid, I think of learning, education, and wisdom, as well as written poems and other kinds of creative writing. And even performing arts. (Dance = "poetry in motion")

I tend to take a broad view like this of all of Brighid's traditional associations. Healing is so much more than curing an individual's physical illness or injury. Smithcraft can encompass many kinds of shaping, creating, joining together, etc. That's how I arrived at the idea of Brighid as a "patron" of social justice and advocacy. Advocates look at the parts of society that are broken and work to fix them through joining with other groups, forming coalitions, and developing better policies and laws. That process includes -- in a metaphorical sense -- healing (fixing society problems), smithcraft (building coalitions and creating policy), and poetry (learning about problems, educating the public and policy-makers about issues and solutions, crafting legislation and supporting material).

I couldn't figure out what to quote from your post, Aster, because all of it seems to relate really well to what I was going to write!

I've been thinking a lot about Brighid's triple character. (Cosmological tangent: So, for me, Brighid has different... levels (eh, I don't like that word but it's the best I can do right now). At one level, she embodies a kind of polarity or duality, fire and water, light and dark intermingling. At another level, she has this triple aspect or character, that for me is related somewhat to the three Druidic elements (nwyfre, gwyar and calas, which I think of as force, flow and form) and the three realms (land, sea, sky). These aspects find expression in the "ten thousand things" of the natural world, human culture and experience, etc., but they also lead back to or are a part of an original Mystery of creativity or unity as well, giving her a kind of primordial/cosmic nature. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense... I'm only just beginning to articulate it.) So - where was I? Oh yeah! In thinking about Brighid's triple character, I see poetry, healing and smithcraft as kind of metaphors or symbols of three broader aspects: inspiration, integration and transformation.

For me, poetry is a symbol of inspiration. Inspiration is like the sudden spark of insight or vision, the in-breath of spirit or deity into our lives. It can be completely disruptive and transgressive, coming in and tearing down our assumptions about how the world works and how things fit together. I think the best poems are the ones that juxtapose radically different ideas or images, that play with the sound and meanings of words in ways that allow us to see and hear them in completely new ways. In modern poetry (in a literate society like ours), another defining feature of a poem is often its structure or format on the page - it's set off in verses and stanzas, so that the white, empty space of the page makes a kind of frame around it and sets it off as something special, not just ordinary prose. Oral performances of poetry are a kind of performance art themselves, in which the voice of the poet weaves a vision out of surrounding silence for those who are listening. This is like inspiration - it can come unexpectedly out of an empty sky!

So when I think about Brighid's aspect as patron of poetry, I think of it in this broader sense - whatever is inspiring and allows us to see things in radically new ways. Music, art, storytelling, education and learning all fall under that aspect to a certain extent.

But I also see inspiration - because it is something radically different, something that can seem to come from "outside" ourselves - as being part of a process, and integration and transformation are the two other aspects of that process. With the in-breath of divine inspiration, we're left with a rift in our old worldview that requires us to seek healing (even if only metaphorically), so that we can establish a new sense of wholeness or completeness that now includes the insight or vision we've gained from inspiration. When we find that new wholeness or integration for ourselves, we can then bring that vision out into the world around us - we become active participants in transformation, changing and shaping others. When we do this, though, we are actually creating new opportunities for inspiration - we bring something new and unique to others that might become a spark for them, and we also will face new challenges that will be new sources of inspiration for ourselves, so there's a cycle or process there that feeds itself.

Inspiration that isn't followed by healing and integration, on the other hand, can lead to madness. I think that's why there's such a strong link between poetry and madness in Celtic mythology, with divinely inspired poets and seers being driven mad and fleeing society to live in the wilderness among the wild beasts. It's almost as though the vision and insight of divine inspiration breaks open the ordinary human mind.... and maybe spending time in solitude out in the wilds is actually one way of coping with the necessary process of healing and becoming whole again (especially if you're seeking a wholeness which remains open and doesn't require you to shut back down, which I think sometimes living in "civilized society" with its laws and restrictions and social boundaries can cause people to do).

Anyway, so that's my rambling. :) I don't know if it was helpful or not... I tend to think that anything that helps us break open our expectations of the world and inspire new insights into how things are and how we fit into it all is an expression of Brighid's "poetic" side. :)

Diary - Flamekeeping

Days of Note: Flamekeeping starts at sundown, Full Claim Song Moon

Sun: leo (fixed fire), 6:28 AM - 8:22 PM
Moon: *full moon, aquarius (fixed air)
Earth: perfect day of nearly cloudless clear skies and gentle sunlight, a relief from the heat and humidity of recent weeks, almost a hint of the autumn weather to come next month and later


At around 4:30 PM this afternoon, Jeff ended work early to go for an extended walk through the woods. The last couple days have been blissfully gorgeous weather, the sunlight golden and the air gentle and cool, lightened from the heat and humidity that have been weighing it down so much in recent weeks. Unfortunately, pain in my legs due to stress (and possibly low vitamins) have kept me sleepless for about three or four nights running now, and this morning I was overwhelmed with worries about the wedding next month and was awake at 5 AM sobbing and angry, so the day began roughly and I was still feeling utterly drained and unfocused even by the afternoon.

Our walk seemed to help that a great deal. We went for a very long walk through Frick Park, down the Upper Riverview Trail, then the Falls Ravine Trail, then left up what I think is called Biddle Trail that passes underneath Forbes and comes out at the far northern end of the park. We went all this way, then turned and followed the wide road that wound down again into the cemetery. Just as we were entering the cemetery - towards the back end, where huge fields of military graves marked with small, sun- and rain-faded flags and sometimes flowers meet up with the edge of the woods - we were stopped in our tracks by four, and then five young bucks moving cautiously out of the underbrush of the wood and into the open fields among the graves to graze in the shade of a large oak tree. They were only twenty or thirty yards from us, and we approached cautiously and sat down in the grass by the side of the road to watch. We must have sat there for a good half-hour as they grazed, every once in a while looking up at us with curiosity, sometimes one or two of them even approaching a bit closer, as though they were trying to figure us out. Jeff and I sat there quietly watching them, trying not to move too much. I thought of how the people in those graves, their bodies were decomposing and going back into the soil, and that soil nourished the grasses that now these deer were feeding on - and the deer so young, five young bucks moving together, there antlers still growing and soft with the sensitive velvet full of blood vessels and nerve endings that make them too fragile and delicate the spar with just yet. There must be something poetic in that.... but it was enough to sit there and watch, and to feel myself making eye contact with those graceful golden animals in the later afternoon sun as they gazed back at me.

Eventually, one of them came close enough that he must have gotten a whiff of our human smell, because suddenly he snorted and stalked back away a bit. The others perked up their ears and all gazed directly at us for a few minutes. Then the same buck snorted again, and then a third time, and haphazardly all five danced off together farther back away from the path and towards the woods again. Not in a rush, but just moving on. One turned back and came towards us several yards again in evident curiosity, but the buck who'd snorted came up behind him as though to watch or warn, and after both of them gazing at us for a minute longer to see if we would follow, both turned back and bounded after the others.

After that, we stood up again and walked on through the rest of the huge cemetery, where it felt so peaceful and empty and quiet. I guess not many people come through there - it's not like it's a park or anything, really, though it backs up to the park. I always imagined cemeteries to be gloomy and sad, but this one was peaceful and lovely, all the graves tended to, families grouped together and occasionally some large monument or beautiful statue or column among the scattered trees. We headed to dinner, then home again, at which point I started my Flamekeeping shift right around sundown.

Though I was still feeling tired (or maybe because I was feeling tired), I decided to do a full circle casting to open and close my ritual tonight. I declared peace to the four directions, then wove the circle with the three elements, then afterwards invited in the energies of the four elements and directions. I spoke the Bond of Druids or Gorsedd prayer, and then did a Three Realms working to connect to the energies of sea, sky and land. By this time, I felt deeply grounded and awake to the current running through me, and I directed that energy into my small pitcher of water, which I charged and then poured as a libation into the blue star fire bowl with the small gold floating candle in it (already lit), marking the center of the rite and opening the gateway. When I parted my hands during the last verse of the prayer to open the gateway, I could feel them buzzing with energy, and from then on during the ritual I felt this deep-pitched ringing or humming in my ears and a profound sense of presence that I haven't often felt in ritual recently. After opening the gateway, I sang my Lady of Star Fire chant as an invitation to Brighid, then hummed the other traditional folk song to her that I know (though I forget the name and can't pronounce the words in Irish Gaelic) while lighting the main Flamekeeping candle and charging up my Brighid's Cross pendant to wear.

After that, I sat in silent prayer for a while, thanking Brighid for her presence in my life and simply sitting with my gratitude. I let her know that I was stressed about the wedding, but so utterly grateful to her for her role in bringing Jeff and I together. I thanked her for all the blessings she's bestowed on me and promised to heed her lessons and do my best to work in her service, even during times when I felt cut off from her. This whole time while in prayer, I felt so close to her, as though surrounded by her embrace or protected all around by her mantle. Finally, I ended my prayers and used my Shadowscape Tarot deck to draw three cards in response to the question, "What lessons do you have for me that I might serve you better?" The cards I drew were, from left to right: Four of Cups, Six of Pentacles, Ace of Swords. (I have some initial impressions on what they might mean, but I want to ponder them more and write a bit about them tomorrow.) To end my ritual, I performed my peace meditation using the Druid Prayer for Peace, and then thanked the four directions and elements, un-wove the circle and ended the rite.

Tomorrow I plan to do some wedding related work along with Jeff - mostly, finishing writing the ceremony, weaving the handfasting cord and then blessing the cord and rings. I'll probably want to do a full ritual with cast circle for that process. I'm hoping I'll get a sounder sleep tonight, especially after such a long walk today. But right now it's getting late, so I'll wrap this up.

End of Month Letter to Mentor

Hi, B--,

Another end-of-the-month letter for you, though this one's a bit late. Much of this month was taken up with work concerns, as Jeff and I have received news that there may be some major changes to our job situation coming up in the next several weeks. It looks like it will mostly be good stuff, but the uncertainty and secrecy surrounding the situation has us feeling rather frazzled and stressed, all things considered.

That said, I did still continue my Druidic work (though sadly, little of it was related to the DOTR lessons - which I've decided to basically set aside until after our wedding and honeymoon).

I spent the early part of July reflecting on a lot of interfaith issues after attending the progressive Christian-focused Wild Goose Festival at the end of June. This led to some really good discussion with Jeff, and it seems to be a theme for the month since a bit later in the month there was the whole issue with the fundamentalist Christian prayer campaign that prompted some rather intolerant responses among Pagans and some controversy around a post that I wrote.

An online Pagan forum I frequent, The Cauldron, upgraded its forum software and so I spent a good amount of time participating in some "re-introduction" threads where we talked a lot about going back to some of our most basic ideas about our paths and practices (those are included in my diary). As a result of this "back to basics" writing, I renewed my commitment to my Flamekeeping. Though I'd been keeping Brighid's flame regularly already, I often didn't do much beyond a simple lighting and smooring ceremony to open and close my shifts. This past month, I made sure to set aside some extended time for meditation and creative work during my shifts in addition to the opening and closing rituals, which worked really well.

I've continued my shamanic/trance work that I began last month, exploring more deeply and cultivating my relationship with my spirit animal, Badger. I've purchased a small rim drum that I've been practicing with as an aid to my trance work (though learning to play has been slow going) and in the meantime I downloaded a few different mp3 recordings of trance drumming that I can use (including one especially for Badger). During my last Flamekeeping shift, I dedicated my shift to finding and dedicating a "Badger Stone" to be a "home" and idol on my altar for Badger. During dusk just as my Flamekeeping shift was beginning, I went hillwalking in slight trance with the intention of finding an appropriate stone; then the following day, I cleansed and blessed the stone and painted on it an image of Badger. After completing the work, I left offerings of chocolate and beer outside. That work seemed to go very well and the stone came out better than I expected.

Jeff and I also started a podcast during this month, Dining with Druids (http://diningdruids.wordpress.com/), in which we talk about the news and politics of the day and how it relates to our spiritual lives. We have a lot of fun recording it, and it seems to be pretty well liked by listeners. Getting a handle on the sound equipment and post-production tech stuff was a bit of a challenge, but I think we've got it fairly well worked out now.

At the last minute, we were called away on a business trip at the end of July, so that we ended up being up in Massachusetts right around Lughnasadh. We were able to stop by and visit our friends Cat and Peter (who are Quaker Pagans) for a couple days, and we had the wonderful opportunity to celebrate Lammas with the two of them, along with Penny and Michael Novak, on that Saturday evening (July 30). It was a simple, somewhat improvised ritual in their backyard next to their garden, where we made propitiatory offerings of locks of hair (which we tossed into the fire), as well as beer and a plate of food (which we brought out into the woods behind their house) before settling down to a meal of fresh, local corn and homemade bread and other delicious produce grown right in their own garden. Afterwards, we wove symbols out of the corn husks to offer to the fire, that the smoke would carry our requests for blessings to the gods. It was very beautiful and touching to be able to celebrate with them. Plus, it was fantastic to be able to engage in conversation with people who have been so deeply involved in the evolving Pagan community for so many decades!

Today Jeff and I have the opportunity to attend the ADF Lughnasadh rite and festival later this afternoon.... but it's still up in the air if we will or not. We're both pretty worn out and exhausted and this is our first kids-free, travel-free weekend we've had to ourselves in months. So we're inclined to just spend some quiet time at home. I would like to attend a Druidic-flavored Lughnasadh ritual, of course, but most years I'm on vacation with my family during this week, and so I usually don't have a chance to celebrate Lughnasadh and it doesn't have as much personal meaning for me as some of the others do. This time of year, especially when we're in the middle of some long, hot, muggy days, I think it's more helpful for my sanity to focus on relaxation and respite!

So that's what I've been up to over the past month. August is already turning out to be pretty busy, and September is going to be wedding and honeymoon stuff mostly (so I may not have a chance to write a summary letter for the next two months). We're honeymooning out west in Zion National Park, where we'll be camping in the desert (which has a lot of spiritual significance for both Jeff and me), so maybe I'll be able to write something up about that once we get home!

Blessings,
Ali

P.S. I forgot, I've also started that "30 Days of Druidry" creative writing project that I mentioned on the DOTR forum a little while back. I'm posting those to my website, if you're interested in reading them.

Diary - Badger Stone

Days of Note: Flamekeeping

Sun: leo (fixed fire), 6:10 AM - 8:43 PM
Moon: waning crescent, taurus (fixed earth)
Earth: hot and gray most of the day, with skies clearing to steamy blue later in the afternoon, at least a bit cooler than the past several days when we've had a heat advisory in effect and stiffing weather

Badger Stone

During my flamekeeping shift this time, I wanted to work more with Badger, especially considering my intuition that Badger has some kind of relationship with Brighid (though I'm not sure exactly what). Another connection that occurred to me last night as I was hillwalking (more on that in a moment) is that Lady Gregory describes the goddess Brighid as having a face which is half fair and beautiful, and half dark and hideous — and though it is not divided down the middle in half, because of the black-and-white strips you could think of Badger, too, as having both a light and a dark face.

So before my shift began last night, I went hillwalking through the woods with the intention of finding a stone for Badger to sit on my altar. I had gotten it into my head at some point that it was vital to find an icon or statue of some kind for Badger to "live in" on my altar, an object I could involve in ritual and give offerings to — and so I'd spent some time over the last week looking online for a suitable item. I found a few ceramic figurines and such, and one or two carved out of wood and painted, but none seemed to suit. Then the idea occurred to me that finding a stone to decorate on my own would be the best idea — I started referring to it as a "Badger Stone" and that just seemed right and fitting. So last night after dinner, about an hour before sunset and the start of my flamekeeping shift, I headed out into the woods to search for a stone, most likely from the cave that overlooks the ravine near the rock outcropping where I like to sit and meditate. I asked Brighid to guide my steps as I went, and I took along my pouch of herbal and seed offerings as well as a small jar of water to pour in libation to the land. I also brought along my iPod; I just downloaded some drumming audio to help with journey work, and one of the songs I found was from an album dedicated to different animal spirits and totems, this song for Badger. I put this song on repeat to listen to while I walked.

The trance state I ended up in was pretty intense, thanks in part to the drumming and in part to the intense heat. Walking through the woods was practically like being in a sweat lodge in any case, especially as I got into the dimmer areas back in the forest aways, and I was dripping sweat and pretty deep in a meditative state while I walked. I had the visceral, powerful experience of being able to "see" the spirits of things around me, faces peering at me from the trees and stones and fallen logs and bits of bramble and underbrush — not my imagination, but like the chaotic natural patterns of texture, light and shadow resolving themselves into very clear faces and shapes that didn't go away even after a second, closer look.

This actually made choosing a stone a bit difficult, because I was hoping to be strolling along waiting for a particular stone to jump out at me... but instead, every single stone I saw seemed to be alive and aware, asserting itself in my presence. Instead of being able to just pick up whatever stone appealed to me, I found myself having to use discernment and actually assess the character or presence of the stones, inquiring which would be amenable to becoming an altar object and "home" for Badger. Some stones just had too much self-presence to be appropriate (including one that seemed to practically beg to be brought back, so much that I almost chose it in the end, but then decided against it). When I made it to the place near the cave, I took a step or two off the path towards the entrance, and almost immediately saw a stone that looked perfect. I bent down and picked it up, then sat in the entrance to the cave for a time holding the stone and asking permission from the stone itself, the land and finally from Badger if this would be an appropriate stone to work with. At one point, Badger seemed to put his paw on top of the stone in my hand and weigh it down slightly so that I felt a warmth and pressure, as though he were trying to bring it closer for examination. Just after this, I noticed a pattern in the texture of the stone itself that seemed to be a face — like that of an old man — peering out at me, and I asked if he was the stone's spirit and, if so, if he was willing to either share his home with Badger or remain in the woods with the other stones. I felt like I couldn't get a clear answer — so I decided I would bring the stone back with me and do some discernment work through meditation during my actual flamekeeping ritual at sunset. So I left a small scattering of offerings at the place where I found the stone, and poured a libation there too (in part hoping to sort of coax the stone's spirit to stay in the woods and take up a new home there), and then I headed home.

When I got back home, I drank a ton of water and had some chocolate to help ground me and come out of trance. It did help immensely, though it took longer to get back to a normal state of consciousness than I was anticipating (I even saw the faces in the water rippling within my glass as I drank — how hard it is to eat or drink anything, or even leave offerings, when absolutely everything seems so alive and sentient and bursting with presence!).

About half an hour later, I got everything prepared for my flamekeeping ritual, lit my candles and incense and did my usual routine of prayers and welcome to Brighid as I begun my shift. This time, I also asked her help on this creative project that I was hoping to do during my shift this round. I took a moment to go into the bathroom and scrub down the stone I'd found and cleanse it in a mundane way — and then I came back to the altar and spend time smudging and cleansing it with incense smoke and Awen-breaths, turning it over and over so that the smoke clung and spiraled around it in the candle light. It was quite beautiful! While doing this, I did some light meditation seeking to know if this was a good stone for the work I intended. At one point, as I turned the stone over in my hands, I glimpsed it at an angle I hadn't seen it at before, and there in the dancing shadows made by the candle and the texture of the stone itself was a badger face peering at me! So I took that as the signal that yes, this would be a good stone to use after all.

After cleansing and smudging it, I did a Three Realms Working to connect with the energies of the land, sky and sea and blessed and changed the stone. I finished up my flamekeeping ritual and set the stone on the shelf above my bed next to the still-lit candle that would remain lit all night as part of my shift. (This may not have been a great idea — or perhaps I didn't ground well enough after my ritual work — because I found it difficult to sleep all night and tossed and turned with excess energy.)

This afternoon after Jeff took the kids back to their mom's, I returned to the work. I set up the paints and everything I would need, and I browsed some pictures of badgers online to make sure I knew what I was going for. Then, I put on my iPod again with the Badger drumming song on repeat, and got to work. First I traced an outline of Badger on a sheet of paper in pencil based on some of the images I'd found and the texture and contours of the stone, then I transferred the drawing to the stone itself with a pencil, which I then went over again with a thin black permanent marker. Next, I painted the white layer, followed by the black, and at last the nose and two small brown eyes. In between each coat/color, I allowed the paint to dry while meditating in light trance and smudging the stone further with incense burning nearby. The stone was almost complete — but I'd left the eyes a plain brown, not yet giving them black pupils. At this point, I stopped and made offerings to Badger, slicing off a hunk of chocolate and cracking open a beer to pour (these being pretty much the best food in the house at the moment), also eating a small piece of chocolate and taking a small sip of beer for myself to honor the place within myself where I would make a welcome home for Badger.

I then closed the curtains, turned off the lights and closed my eyes, going into deeper trance to the sound of the drums and seeking to present the stone to Badger for approval before putting on the finishing touch and bringing the stone "alive." I spent about fifteen minutes in trance, during which time I went to the Angel Oak tree, called to Badger and then followed him trundling through woods and field back to his burrow, where he seemed to be gathering himself up and straightening things as though in preparation. After a while of this, Badger turned to me and once again put a damp, heavy paw on my upturned palm where I held the almost-finished stone. This time, when he removed his paw, it left a wet, damp paw mark that seemed to absorb into the stone itself. He seemed to smile and laugh and joke about the "likeness" of the stone — and then we came back together and I danced him for a while in my own body (though I have to admit, Badger seems to expect a sense of rhythm and coordination from me that I don't possess!). After dancing Badger for a short time, I invited him into the stone itself. I put the finishing touches on the stone by giving the eyes dark pupils. I blessed the stone again with three Awen-breaths, and as the incense was just burning down, I headed outside into the backyard to place the plate of offerings amongst the flowers in the garden bed. While outside, I got the feeling that Badger wanted to be "introduced" to the world in his new stone, so I held the stone to each of the four directions with greetings of peace and blessings from the East, South, West and North, as well as the presence of the Three Realms.

Then I headed back inside to write this journal entry. It's about an hour and a half until sundown and the end of my flamekeeping shift, so I may write a follow-up post then (or maybe not). I feel as though I haven't done any divination in a while, so I might do a drawing... or maybe not. We'll see. This work on the Badger Stone feels like it's taken a lot out of me, so I might just rest for the remainder of the evening.

Below is a picture of the completed Badger Stone.

What's Next for LotS?

My responses to questions about "What's next?" for the Lady of the Stars group.

I've been... avoiding answering these questions, and I'm not sure why. Partly wanting to see what everyone else is saying and going off to mull over those responses, but also for some other reasons I'm not exactly sure of. Anyway, ::deep breath:: here goes....

What do you want out of this group?

I... don't know. So - in the interest of complete honesty - sometimes I feel like my connection with the Lady/Brighid is very tenuous, on the edge of being "just in my head" and I feel like even though I'm all right with the theoretical/theologizing side, I struggle a lot with the actual belief side of things. But when this group first came together and we were planning ritual and sharing experiences and just having lots of conversation, I felt like that whole community process helped me a great deal to really cultivate a real relationship with Her. Some of you have such profound insights to share, and being able to work with others who are also building relationship with Her is immensely inspiring and helpful to me. So I want that from the group. I'm not sure if it's the ritual, or the conversation, or the meditative work - I feel like I got a lot out of each of those and I definitely want more of them - whatever it was in particular, this group helped me to really feel that She was in my life in a powerful way. Wherever we end up going, it's that sense of Her presence in our work that I really want.

What are different avenues you want to explore (ritual work, meditation, etc)?

I would like to explore more ritual work. In part because I really love writing liturgy, either on my own or collaboratively, and in part because I think sometimes without the structure or the commitment there, I tend not to do very much ritual (I'm a bit of a lazy ritualist) even though I think it is good for me and for my spiritual life. So having you folks around to kick me in the butt when I need it, definitely!

Also, I think someone (M.?) mentioned about writing or journaling prompts? I'd like more creative project prompts in general - these work really well for me, maybe even better than meditation prompts. With meditation, again, I think I'm just lazy, but I love writing and working on crafting a story or poem or prayer, so it's easier to keep my focus and feel like I'm working at something - whereas sometimes I just do meditation and, um, nothing happens. ;)

What do you feel you can bring to the group?

Um - an unrealistic enthusiasm bordering on obsession? In mundane terms, I'm in a position where I have the flexibility with my time and energy where I usually can devote a lot to simple group maintenance and stuff when necessary (and after I'm done with this f**k**fr***ing wedding planning, I'll have even more). I also think I tend to be very analytical and fascinated with the theology side of things, worrying away at paradoxes or inconsistencies in my own ideas or in others', like a dog worrying a bone... which sometimes can be useful, though sometimes not. I offer that to the group for what it's worth. (For some reason just now, I got an image of those carved offerings they've found in the shafts of old wells in Ireland and Britain, that could be interpreted either as a pair of eyes, or a pair of breasts. So I guess I'm sometimes insightful, sometimes a complete boob?)

What are some reservations or fears you might have?

I guess my two biggest fears are that, on the one hand, I'm too needy and on the other, I'm too analytical, and that this is a bad combination and prevents me from really connecting well with you guys or being able to spur the kind of group cohesion and inspiration I feel like I want to or wish I could. I'm not sure why this is such a big fear for me... I think I echo Finn's thoughts, too, about worrying about the group losing focus or clarity - and then getting it in my head that somehow I need to be responsible for making sure that doesn't happen (while worrying about simultaneously coming across as both too pushy and too needy). This is the whole trust/faith/belief thing for me again, though, I guess - trying to think that spark of community and creativity into being instead of just allowing it to happen or trusting in the Lady to do what She needs/wants to do with it.

Reflections on Ritual and Offerings

A response to Bob's post on the DOTR Network about the role of offerings and other aspects of ritual.

I have to admit that I'd already seen that article, and it annoyed me. My honors thesis work was in ritual theory, so I have an academic background in the subject that focused not only on the religious/spiritual significance of ritual in various world traditions, but also on the socio-political and aesthetic aspects of ritual practice. Coming from that perspective, that article sounded to me an awful lot like someone who attended a ritual, felt uncomfortable with the social atmosphere or the particular aesthetics used, and so projected her discomfort onto the gods by claiming or warning that they would be displeased.

This is not the first time that a Heathen blogger on Patheos has made complaints about others "doing it wrong" when it comes to ritual. I'm not sure if this is a common theme among Heathens more than other Pagan traditions, or just a coincidence, but I know I have also talked with Heathens who see the purpose of offerings to the gods as a kind of appeasement to get the gods to leave them alone. One Heathen actually compared worshipping the gods to living in your parents' house - it's nice that they pay the bills and take care of most of the responsibilities, but that doesn't mean you want them hanging around getting into your business and it's better when they're content to leave you alone. This sounds like a pretty adolescent approach to me, honestly.

I think this is one of the big issues with ritual in Paganism, especially because the Pagan umbrella is so diverse and it sometimes doesn't share a theological perspective even among members of the same group. Without a foundation in theology of some kind, ritual can quickly devolve into superstition. There are many reasons why rituals can feel powerful or feel like failures, and they don't all have to do with whether or not you've authentically connected with Spirit or the gods. The emotional, psychological, aesthetic, social and even physiological aspects all play a role in addition to the spiritual. And discerning when authentic spiritual work has been done is something I think best left up to the group who has done the work to develop and engage with the ritual practice, rather than an outsider sitting in and making judgements.

That said, I think Blaidd brings up some really good questions in his post - the practical question of what is done with the offerings perhaps being one of the more important ones. It seems to me that if ritual and offerings is to avoid becoming mere superstition, then it must be all about relationship at its core. But that means it also can't be something as simple as "our ancestors were scared of the Sidhe, so they must be appeased so they don't cause trouble" - this seems about as disrespectful to me as it would be disrespectful and prejudiced to say, "Don't walk through that neighborhood; a lot of black people live there and my parents have always said black people are dangerous." I think in general, gods and other beings, and animals for that matter, are similar to human beings: when you approach with respect and kindness in the interest of being as open and attentive as you can to the needs and desires of the Other, whoever that other is, then you are far more likely to elicit respect and kindness in turn, and this eventually builds into a mutually loving relationship. It is in presuming a relationship or taking it for granted that the disrespect (and thus the danger) lies... but again, we can't always be the judge of how others' relationship with the gods expresses itself, either in ritual or in daily life.

Jeff and I already do offerings to our gods on a regular basis - pouring libations and burning incense are parts of my regular prayer/meditation routine, and we both wear certain symbolic pieces of jewelry and clothing that represent promises we have made to our deities or simply as a reminder to think of them and offer a prayer now and then. As part of my Flamekeeping shift with the Brigidine Cill I belong to, I tend a flame once every twenty days as part of my service to Brighid. And on major holy days, especially when we have the kids with us, we make ritual offerings of bird seed and such to the local woods (and wildlife) - and we also toss "silver in the water," coins into a small blue bowl of water on the altar, which Jeff and I then save up until we have enough to change in for money that we donate to a charity. Since we do much of this on our own, it's not a big deal to us if DOTR doesn't incorporate offerings into its group/public rituals. We have an established relationship with our gods, and if other gods are involved in a given ritual, we see it somewhat like going to a party at a friend's house and meeting their relatives - we're polite and respectful, but don't presume either any special relationship or any special attention as a result. (Of course, this can be a problem if the ritual involves gods that no one performing/attending the ritual actually does have a relationship with - because that's more like crashing someone else's party and expecting special treatment from the hosts.)

So those are my thoughts on the situation. Different situations will call for different types of ritual and offerings, and I see no reason why we can't continue to have public rituals open to anyone, as long as we don't treat the gods as "plug and play" components. Public rituals that involve offerings and prayers focused on the earth or the land can still be very effective without requiring a common agreed upon theology for the most part. But perhaps it would also benefit DOTR as a whole for regular members to help each other cultivate authentic relationships with the gods or beings that each members works with in their own practice as well as in group work?

A Druid in Modern Society

Something I wrote for The Cauldron's Neo-Druidry SIG that I thought I would post here — my response to the following questions:

What does it mean to be a Druid in modern society? What do you mean when you use the term Druid for yourself? Why are you a Druid instead of, say, a witch or a Celtic Recon? Conversely, do you find your Druidry informing any other spiritual path you walk?

Basically, this is the place to talk in lengthy detail about your Druidry!

Great questions! Hmm, trying to decide which one to start with....

Okay, what do I mean when I use the term Druid for myself? I mean that I am a practitioner of Druidry, a spiritual tradition that is represented by several modern groups and organizations (but definitely not reducible to any one of them), such as OBOD, AODA, ADF, TDN, DOTR, etc. I feel pretty comfortable using the term "Druid" for myself for two reasons. (1) Because I mean it in the same way I would call myself a "Christian" if I were practicing Christianity - I see Druidry as a religion, and it's just easiest to identify myself as a member of that religious tradition by using the term. Since it's pretty well acknowledged that we can't recreate ancient Celtic society, I don't worry about anyone mistaking me for a "real Druid" in that sense.

(2) The idea that ancient Druids were similar to a "priest/philosopher caste" in Celtic society and underwent 20+ years of training.... qualifies me as a Druid, damn it. ;) I've spent most of my life studying philosophy and religion through formal education, I have a degree in comparative religious studies ("priest") and have earned distinguished honors for my work in creative writing ("bard") and political philosophy ("adviser to kings"), along with experience as a political activist and vocal pacifist ("peacemaker"). I guess this is partly answering that first question, too - what does it mean to be a Druid in modern society. True, I didn't spend all those years self-identifying as a Druid... But what it means for me personally to think of myself as a Druid is striving to embody that role of the politically- and socially-engaged peacemaker whose community work is informed by an insight into aesthetics and poetry as well as the intellectual discipline and knowledge of the scholar or philosopher, and who brings to all of that work a deep sense of spiritual grounding and reverence for the gods and the sacredness of the earth.

Why I identify myself as a Druid and not a CR/Recon person (besides what others have mentioned about the lack of scholarly info and the practicality issue) is because the archetype of the Druid seems to place more emphasis on the synthesis and integration of all these different aspects into a deep and challenging path, whereas CR strikes me a bit more like a "folk religion," so to speak, where these roles are all still seen as separate specialties (if you know what I mean... not sure I'm really getting across my idea very well there). I actually started out exploring Paganism through the Wicca/Witchcraft lens (and every once in a while get an urge to explore Feri Witchcraft a bit more)... but it never really fit me, I didn't feel that sense of "homecoming" that I've heard a lot of others describe. Though I do believe in magic, I tend to understand it much more from an aesthetic/philosophical point of view. What really struck me was when I read an essay in an anthology about Druidry where the writer talked about the Witch archetype as that person living as a kind of outcast (a hag or whore) on the edge of town, whereas the Druid was deeply engaged in the heart of community working along with others and counseling them as an accepted and wise person. I resonated much more with the Druid archetype and the role of community and engagement than with the Witch archetype. :)

So.... is that too much?

Diary - Flamekeeping

Days of Note: Flamekeeping, Fourth of July/"Independence Day"

Sun: cancer (cardinal water), 5:55 AM - 8:54 PM
Moon: waxing crescent, virgo (mutable earth)
Earth: hot and muggy most of the day, occasional shower, then about an hour before sunset, a huge storm with thunder, lightning and hail - now, after dark, fireworks


My flamekeeping shift is soon coming to an end. I've spent most of today working on my response post (first of three parts) to my experiences and observations at the Wild Goose Festival back at the end of June - and trying very hard to ignore what day it is. But how could I think She would let me ignore it.

A storm blew through about an hour ago, with thunder and massive rain that gave way to the pounding of hail (and for the first time, I had the strange experience of fearing for my garden, as though I could imagine myself responsible for the plump little lives that sprung from hard-shelled seeds I did barely more than drop into the soil and encourage with hopeful glances and some occasional weeding). Now the sky to the west is suffused with rose and gold as the storm blows east to lap against the mountains. Jeff had been wishing for a storm all day, in hopes the rain would wash out and ruin the planned Fourth of July fireworks displays. It seems we often have thunder storms during my flamekeeping shifts.

I don't celebrate days like today. I am not a member of the civil religion of this country (though I happened to be born an American citizen, I do not subscribe to Americanism or, as most would call it, patriotism). And because I believe that rituals have power - even when we don't mean them to or believe them to - I do not participate in community rituals that glorify war and violence, that celebrate death and destruction, that serve only to reinforce the boundaries between a righteous Us and an untrustworthy Them.

But because the civil religion is a religion (whether its followers believe it to be or not), I also try as much as I can not to spend my time actively berating those who do participate. It's hard. Very, very hard.

What's harder is seeing Pagans promoting concepts like "Pagan-American" and hailing the invented piece of propaganda known as "Columbia" (named for a man who committed atrocities gleefully against the indigenous peoples of this land and who was denounced even by people in his own time for doing so) as though she were a goddess. Columbia is no more a goddess than Coca-Cola is a god - and I mean that in all its is/isn't tension and complexity.

I can't feel that it's anything but reprehensible and cruel to celebrate a "goddess of the land of America" under the name of a man who tortured and killed so many of those who once lived here. On a day when we supposedly celebrate and honor those brave men (mostly men) who fought for our independence from Britain, do we give any thought to who else they fought - do we remember how Washington earned his promotions through his campaigns against the natives? do we remember that it was not only freedom from colonial rule, but the freedom to rule over an occupied, colonized land that was won? And to turn around and hail the name Columbia! I would retch if I weren't so close to tears.

And Brigid is a goddess of justice, a goddess of peace... but she is also Mother to Sorrow, who saw her son cut down in battle and keened her grief unchecked by shame, a sorrow so all-encompassing it could only be a testament to love. Of course, she would bring me back to thoughts of the Fourth of July when I would rather have ignored it, let it go unmarked and unremarked. Do I have her courage, to wail in public grief, to allow my sorrow and anger to be a testament and song to the greatness of love and hope?

I don't want to. I don't think I have the courage, not this year. I'm tired of being the punching-bag token pacifist. I have no friends or family who made it home from war, I have no claim to respect that would keep the ridicule in check. I can protest until I'm blue in the face - say that though I hate war, I do not hate soldiers, say that though I work for peace, I am not an ideologue or even an idealist - but no one listens.

Except Brigid. Maybe she listens. And this was what brought me to her service, I remember now. I'd read so many descriptions of her, none of which had really rung true. Then I read Lady Gregory writing about her face, how half of it was beautiful and full of light, and half of it was dark and deformed and terrible. And I thought, yes, this I recognize, this is my goddess. Brigid of the Ruined Eye. Brigid, Mother to Sorrow, Lover to Darkness - and yet, Lady of Light, Guardian of Peace. Praise to you.

As polytheists, do we not have the freedom to choose, to worship what gods we will? I will worship the Lady of Star Fire, the holy triple flame who burns ashless, who works in the darkness. I will worship her in her fullness, not only what is beautiful and poetic, but what is wretched and awful and ugly with grief and sadness. I will honor her for her courage, her willingness to be vulnerable before the world. How could I have forgotten this about you, Brigid? Help me to remember. Help me to work in that same service - not only poetry and beauty, but the hard work of justice, the dirty old work of weakness and transformation.

Diary - Flamekeeping

Days of Note: Flamekeeping begins at sundown

Sun: cancer (cardinal water), 5:54 AM - 8:54 PM
Moon: waxing crescent, leo (fixed fire), VoC
Earth: hot and sunny much of the day, with winds this evening blowing in billowing clouds, for a brief shower before moving on again

Flamekeeping Ritual

A few minutes before sunset I sat down to my altar, with incense burning and three candles lit in honor of Brigid. Unfortunately, my white pillar candle overspilled its wax last time it was lit, trapping my flamekeeping pendant beneath it - but I have since begun wearing an acorn pendant instead of my Brigid's Cross as a daily symbol of my Druidry, so I decided tonight to begin using my Brigid's Cross necklace itself as my Flamekeeping symbol. I will also be leaving the LED candle lit until sunset tomorrow, though it wouldn't be safe or practical to leave a real-flame candle burning.

I began my shift with some simple awen breathing, during which it seemed almost as though I could hear Brigid whispering to me. Thoughts kept arising as I tried to quiet my mind, some of which seemed too clear and articulate to really be "my own" thoughts exactly - most of them concerning my neglect of my Flamekeeping and my dourness about the responsibility of doing it tonight (when I was feeling tired and overwhelmed and my back is sore and distracting from the tattoo, which is still healing). The simplicity of the candles flickering and the other ritual objects on the altar reminded me that ritual is meant to be beautiful and moving, not a chore or a burden, and that lately it seems I've been grumbling overly much (not out loud, but kind of subconsciously) about my Flamekeeping shifts, giving Brigid grief instead of my joy and gratitude and praise. So there seemed to be some chastisement there, and a suggestion also that I've been focused too much on expecting Brigid to "prove herself" to me by flooding me with warm-fuzzy feel-goods and inspiration... but not enough focus on my part on what I can offer back to her and to the world in her honor.

After this period of quiet reflection and awen-breath, I said my simple opening-shift prayer while "charging" the Brigid's Cross and hanging it around my neck. Then I followed up with one of my rosary prayers to her, and the Lady of the Star Fire chant that I wrote back in November. (I said these prayers out loud, because I felt I needed to more fully embody them tonight, instead of just "thinking" them silently to myself.) After this, I blessed the small pitcher of water on the altar and offered to Brigid the water, the incense, the light of the flames and my gratitude and honor to her. I offered a few flicks of water to each of the triple flames, and then took a sip to honor the Spirit Within which needs nourishing and care as well.

Following this, I asked Brigid to help guide me and began my divination, using my Shadowscapes tarot deck, asking the question, "What gifts can I offer in honor and service to you, O Brigid?"

The cards I drew were, in this order from left to right:

Eight of Cups | Four of Pentacles | High Priestess

Before I write up an interpretation of the cards, though, I want to finish recording the rest of the ritual. After drawing these cards, I went into a light trance (which was a bit difficult because I had a Jonathan Coulton song stuck in my head and had no drum music, or even a rattle to help me "source" - but I did my best and it seemed to work, in fact better than last time).

This time, I began by seeking the Angel Oak Tree as my beginning place, since it was to a very similar tree that Badger seemed to lead me last time. Stepping within the bright, airy, earthy, crystalline nemeton of the great Live Oak, sure enough there was Badger trundling forward to meet me. I knelt down and we embraced, glad to see each other. I began to ask Badger for help interpreting the cards, to seek an answer to what gifts I can offer in Brigid's honor, but Badger was already on it, digging down into the earth near the roots of the Tree. After only a few inches, Badger had scraped away a hole that seemed to open up into a great, vast deep-blue ocean beneath the earth. Badger dove in and began swimming down down down - I tried to follow, but found myself panicking and rushing back up towards the surface. Badger came back up and inquired what was wrong, and I tried to explain how I was afraid of "drowning" - or of not being strong enough or good enough to survive the plunge. Badger reassured me that not only was I up to the challenge, but that it was absolutely necessary and that this anxiety and clinging to the surface world of things was what the Four of Pentacles was indicating. Badger offered to "light my way," and once again there was that association or connection there with a Solar Badger or Sun Badger (I'm not sure if this is because the badger and bear are somewhat related animals symbolically - and like the bear, the badger hibernates and enters the earth, and so may have solar associations - or also like the groundhog, which may have some association with Brigid - or even just the B-D-G sounds in both names). Now shining with a kind of golden light, Badger swam down into the dark blue depths, and I followed, until it seemed we were no longer swimming, but climbing down a steep damp grassy hill at night towards a light in the distance. As we got closer, the light resolved into a campfire lit at the base of the hill, around which a group of people were gathered, laughing and sharing stories and songs with each other. Badger suggested (though not exactly in words) that I had forgotten that my sense of inspiration came from this kind of congenial sharing among equals, an intimate group joined together by joy and kinship and a sense of sacredness - and that this was very different from the insecurities that were leading me to always try to outdo and prove myself through my writing and other work these days. Next I asked, well, what about the other card, the High Priestess - at which point Badger indicated the moon flooding the hillside and fields and woods surrounding with silvery moonlight. I felt the moonlight suffuse my body, and that sense of looming power from up within myself, as though I'd grown taller than I actually was and was radiating or "expanding" out beyond myself. I protested that I didn't know how to be a High Priestess, but Badger seemed to insist that I have always had the potential to be a great priestess of the gods and to some extent I have been afraid of that calling, even though it's always been there. There was also the sense that serving as a priestess had little to nothing to do with being able to attract a large congregation or group of followers - that was not my job to worry about, it was enough that I serve however I could. I expressed how all of my study recently and all the things I want to learn are so that I can become a better priestess to my gods - but Badger seemed to scoff (affectionately) at that, and suddenly I was half-out of trance and aware of my body again, and Badger was pointing out to me that this was all already within me, deep within - it was not something I had to acquire from an external source through learning, but something I had to learn how to access and trust. After this, I sort of dropped back into the trance-place again and I asked Badger if we could return, so together we walked back up the hill until we were swimming back through the dark waters and breaking surface at the roots of the Great Tree.

After coming out of trance, I thanked Badger for the guidance and support, and in gratitude I danced Badger a bit (this time the dance was more like "swimming" - swinging my arms in waving motions out at my sides and above my head, fingers splayed, while my lower body kind of bounced a bit almost as though I were kicking my back legs as you do when you doggy-paddle).

After this, I ended the ritual by extinguishing two of the three candles, leaving the LED candle lit.

I would like to ponder the meaning of the card reading and maybe write more about it tomorrow (especially because my wrist is beginning to hurt, having to keep it up so the tattoo doesn't rub against the keyboard of the laptop). So more on that later.

Diary - Druidry and Environmentalism

Days of Note: New Field Poppy Moon

Sun: cancer (cardinal water), 5:53 AM - 8:54 PM
Moon: new moon, cancer (cardinal water), VoC
Earth: gorgeous, sunny, not to hot, clear and bright day, gentle breeze, couldn't be more perfect, really

Below is a response I posted to a thread about Druidry and Environmentalism on the TC Neo-Druidry SIG.

Druidry seems to have the reputation of being a "green" religion, taking a special interest in the natural world and our place in it. From ancient harvests of mistletoe from oak trees to modern celebrations of the solstice at Stonehenge, nature often plays a special role in how Druids see the world today.

Does environmentalism play a role in your Druidic path? How do you relate to nature, to both the environment around you and greater planetary concerns? Would you agree or disagree with the perception that Druidry is a "green" religion? Has increased nature awareness/environmentalism inspired you to make certain changes in your life (in your diet, recycling, spontaneous tree hugging, etc)?

Love this and the community service thread! Thanks for starting them. :)

I think you're right on the mark about Druidry's relationship to environmentalism. The Druid Revival began, along with the Romantic Period of the late 18th and early 19th centuries, at least in part in response to the Industrial Revolution and its dehumanizing, world-devouring influences. The Romantics (artists, poets, intellectuals, philosophers, etc.) were responding to the kind of Cartesian dualism that split the mind/spirit from the physical body and the material world. Valuing the aesthetic and spiritual qualities of the natural world was a big part of how they countered this dualism and sought to overcome it. I think these days folks have a tendency to dismiss Revival Druidry as "romanticism" (lower-case) as though to suggest that it's naively idealistic or inaccurate. There are some inaccuracies in it, of course, but Romanticism (upper-case) was a hugely important philosophical movement in the evolution of Western civilization, and modern day environmentalism and conservation (not to mention ecosophy and deep ecology, and even the scientific study of ecosystems to some extent) owe their existence to ideas first explored by the Romantics. If you really wanted to get technical, you could probably argue that any person today who uses the name "Druid" owes at least some thanks to the Romantics for their part in the revival of that spiritual archetype.

But it's not just Druidry's connection with the Romantics that suggests it has some "green" tendencies. From my understanding of ancient Celtic culture, the Celts tended to be much more concerned with the earth and (what we would call) "nature spirits" than some of the other ancient religious traditions of the time. In fact, that was one of the arguments the Romans used in support of their belief that the Celts were mere uncivilized barbarians - that they held their rituals outside among the trees in sacred groves and seemed to worship nature, instead of worshipping "proper" gods in elaborate temples full of refined sculptures. A deep connection with and respect for the natural world runs deeply through Celtic spirituality in general - and actually, it seems to me that the Wiccan focus on the natural world might actually stem from its early relationship (via Gerald Gardner and Ross Nichols) to Revival Druidry and Celtic spirituality. I think it's kind of a shame that some Reconstructionists I've met and talked to these days try to distance themselves from Wicca by dropping this nature-focus and focusing instead on polytheism as of primary importance. (That was actually a discussion we had on another thread, so I don't want to rehash it here! ;))

Personally, the focus on the natural world and environmentalism is so central to my understanding of Druidry, it's fair to say that it's the primary (if not entire) reason I became a Pagan to begin with. I had struggled all my life with the ambivalent role that nature and the earth played in Christianity, looking to saints like Francis of Assisi to try to ease my discomfort with how often world-denying the Christian tradition could be. In the end, though, it just wasn't enough - and when I discovered Druidry, it came as such a relief that here was a religious path where my love of the earth could take a central role. My relationship with the natural world and its wildernesses had always been my main way of connecting with the sacred, and here was a community where that was not only tolerated, but supported and encouraged! Fantastic! :)

My environmentalism has remained a central aspect of my Druidry ever since. My partner and I live very frugally and simply, to lessen our impact on the earth in every way we can. We do all the small stuff - washing our clothes in cold water, refusing to use the car unless absolutely necessary, walking or biking most places, eating a vegetarian diet of mostly local, organic foods, reducing our plastic use to almost nothing, composting in the backyard, etc. We also participate in local environmental activism when we can, and we try to get away into the woods of the local state park to camp at least every few months during reasonable weather. We also both write regularly to advocate for environmental awareness (I'm the blog project coordinator for No Unsacred Place). And since we're getting married in two and a half months, we've spent the past year planning a "green" wedding and we're going for Platinum Certification for our wedding through the Live Green Live Smart Institute.

But maybe one of the most important ways that we blend our environmentalism with our spirituality is by actually trying to cultivate and nurture our relationship with the local landscape. I've been studying deep ecology and eco-philosophy for the past year or so, and slowly been learning more and more about our bioregion and its needs and moods. My spiritual practice challenges me to move away from an anthropocentric worldview and learn to see the world and all its beings as part of a "ecology of Spirit," all interconnected and valuable in their own right.

Wow! I didn't mean for this to get so long! But it's such a great topic, and a really important one, too. :) Thanks again for starting the thread!

End of Month Letter to Mentor

B--,

Another letter about my DOTR aspirant work. This month I basically made no progress on the actual lessons for DOTR, but I thought I'd share a bit about what I was doing.

Early in June was a lot of wedding stuff, including a trip with Jeff and the kids to see my parents for the weekend and attend a birthday/wedding shower/engagement party. We had some time with Savanah to do her "Teen Druidry" lessons, which this month included learning how to sense and work with energies through visualization. We gave her some simple visualization exercises to do for a couple weeks, and had a chance the weekend before last to take her to the local conservancy where we practiced sensing the "nemeton" (or aura/energy) around different plants.

My birthday was this month, which meant I had a general obligation to hang out with people instead of keeping to myself (oh well!), and I didn't have a chance to do any kind of birthday rite or divination like I like to do - it's just been too busy this year.

Jeff and I did have a chance to attend an Alban Heruin/Summer Solstice ritual this year with the local ADF grove, though. On the morning of the solstice itself, we were up at 3:30 AM to drive out to a park outside the city where we met up with a handful of others for a ritual to greet the rising sun. Unfortunately, it was raining heavily for most of the time, so our ritual took place under a pavilion instead of on top of the hill where it would normally have been held. Still, it was very moving and enjoyable - and we had a chance to have breakfast with a couple members of the grove afterwards. We're hoping to attend more of their open gatherings and get to know the local Druid community better (especially when we have more time after the wedding).

Last weekend, we attended the Wild Goose Festival down in Shakori Hills, NC - it's a progressive/emergent Christian festival focused on Celtic spirituality, justice, music and art. A friend of ours, Carl McColman, was one of the speakers and the festival was run by Gareth Higgins, who was the coordinator of the Northern Ireland Celtic spirituality and peacemaking retreat I went on last August. We had a chance to see a number of really important, influential leaders of the progressive/emergent movement, and made some good friends (as well as having a chance to catch up with old ones). It gave us a lot of food for thought. I'm in the process of typing up my notes from the festival (along with annotations) and posting them to my spiritual diary, and I'll eventually have some reflections to post in essay-form on my website. I think Pagans and Christians have a great deal to learn from one another, and being around such thoughtful, sincere spiritual folks, regardless of religion, always leaves me feeling inspired and energized.

I've also begun to explore shamanic work as part of my self-designed Ovatic training. Not sure if I ever laid this out for you before, but basically, I spent about eight or so years studying poetry and music in high school and college (to the point where I won several awards and had been published quite a bit), plus my Candidate year with AODA studying the Bardic arts. After completing the first degree with AODA, I decided that my second degree work would be "flavored" with an Ovatic focus - studying the subtle energies and interconnections of the world through work with deep ecology, divination, magic, dreams, meditation and trance work. My study of astrology falls into this type of work (both as a kind of divination in some respects, and also a study of the patterns and energy play of the stars), and I've been studying ecology and ecosophy as well, from a more mundane/scientific perspective (plus learning more about our local bioregion). The divination work has been largely tarot, though like I mentioned to you already I've also started to work with ogham based on Erynn Rowan Laurie's work (and also Mountfort's book, too, which I think you mentioned in your last letter - yes, I definitely agree that his approach to the tree ogham is very helpful!). I've been doing my usual meditation and hillwalking, and now that Jeff and I are running and doing yoga again, that's become an aspect of my meditative work, too. One aspect of my Ovatic work that I'd always intended to include but hadn't been brave enough to plunge into until recently was actual shamanic work, though I have occasionally done some Active Imagination meditation/visualization during some rituals. But for my birthday, Jeff got me a book on shamanism by Caitlin Matthews, and so last week I finally jumped in and began with the first few exercises. On a whim two days ago, we were walking back from dinner to a friend's house when we saw a store selling fair trade items from Morocco (a store we'd thought had closed about a year ago, but that had just moved locations and transferred ownership)... so we stopped in - turns out, there was a lovely little frame drum on sale, so Jeff insisted on getting it for me. So now I have a drum to work with for my shamanic work, too. (The shop also had a few bodhran drums, which I'd really like to get someday, but they were quite a bit more expensive and I don't know the first thing about playing them, so they'll have to wait a little bit longer...)

And finally, just yesterday, Jeff and I got some tattoos done (which is why this email is pecked out on the keyboard, since I can't rest my wrist on the laptop). We each got matching wrist tattoos of a calla lily yin yang symbol as "wedding tattoos" (representing the blending of opposites, male and female and so on, incorporating the calla lily as the Druidic "third thing" borne out of that relationship, also a symbol of beauty and peace and in itself incorporating female (the chalice shape of the petals) and male (the stamen). I also got a large back tattoo done (which was... wow, quite painful!) of a design that I worked on in a semi-trance state on the morning of the summer solstice after returning from the ADF sunrise rite. It matches and compliments my "Ninth Wave" armband (which I also designed) - this tattoo is a stylized "Celtic"-looking sun design which also incorporates a few meaningful symbols that connect it to my relationship with Brigid as Lady of Star Fire. I posted the design to my spiritual diary on the summer solstice, and after the tattoo heals more I'll post a picture of the final piece as well.

So that's what I've been up to! I do apologize for not going step by step through the DOTR lessons! Life just always seems to interfere and demand my attention in many different directions. It strikes me sometimes as a bit funny that so much of my life is focused on my Druidry and my spirituality, and yet even still I'm so bad at working through prescribed lesson plans. But I will get through them eventually, and in the meantime, I try to approach all this work as a slow, organic accretion of many different skills which, even if they're only gained slowly and seemingly haphazardly, are better integrated and interconnected as part of my spiritual journey because of it.

Blessings,
Ali

Annotated Notes from the Wild Goose Festival, Day 2

[This post has been backdated to the appropriate day of the festival itself, just to make future reference convenient for me and to break things up a bit.]

[We were up fairly early and had the fruit we'd packed for breakfast, before heading to the main festival area for the various talks and presentations. Walking along the path from the camping area to the main area, we ran into Carl almost immediately, who right away put us in a good mood with his cheerfulness and optimism. After exchanging a few words, Jeff and I headed over to a talk on our own, agreeing to meet up again with Carl later.]


9 AM | Christine Sine | Spirituality & Gardening

• cooks like to compete, gardeners like to share
• generosity of God ["God" - Earth?] so much that we have to share
  - perishable produce
  - reaching out to neighbors
• scarcity transformed into abundance
• the garden as a church
[this is a very familiar concept in Paganism, that nature is our "church" and we learn the lessons of the Earth as Mother and teacher; in fact, much of this talk could have been pulled straight from a Pagan festival presentation, with a few vocabulary changes]
• health and spiritual benefits of time spent outside in creation ["creation"? why not just say "nature" or "natural world" as the actual scientific research does? is "man-made" not part of creation? is indoors not as much "creation" as outdoors?]
• garden in monastic community represents Garden of Eden (apple or other fruit tree in center as Tree of Life)
• using plants to tell stories, as mnemonic device
  - the passion flower
  - the three-leaf clover
• rhythms and cycles of the garden
  - liturgical year of the church (Easter as spring time, rebirth, f'ex)
[the speaker herself was from Australia and spoke about how the story of Easter and its timing in the liturgical year never made much sense to her, living as she did in a place where in March and April everything is dying and preparing for winter - only when she moved to the northern hemisphere did the story suddenly make sense; isn't this one example of the limits of universal tradition?]
• putting down roots at the "beginning" of the liturgical year, in winter
• pruning in winter because no sap, easier to see deadwood among the bare branches and to see what needs to be pruned
  - why do we prune? to increase yield, be more fruitful/productive later on
• summer flourishing - effortless, natural, God doing the work [Earth doing the work of self-giving and natural fecundity]
• organic gardening
  - all about soil, the story of the seeds falling on rock, soil, etc. to take root (or not)
  - not enough focus on the soil in Christianity [duh! not enough focus on the Earth and earth mysteries]
  - speaker says it's "a shame that the fall harvest festivals aren't really celebrated or popular anymore" and thinks they should be brought back [Jeff comments: they're not celebrated anymore because they were stamped out for being "too pagan"]
[a lot of her language involves this idea of being a better/more productive Christian, which prompted Jeff to ask, "what does it actually mean to be a 'productive Christian'?" is this the same as being a productive or a good person, or is there some other criteria? nurturing members of the church to do what, exactly?] [another assertion the speaker makes is that there's a disconnect between what we can learn in the garden, and what Christians are often taught in church/community about who/what to focus on - this prompts me to ask, slightly ironically, why is there a disconnect between the garden and theology? does it have something to do with the story of the Fall and human beings forced to leave the garden behind? also, what is the role of wilderness and the wild natural world? interacting with the relatively safe, human-cultivated space of a garden to grow food mostly as a hobby - when you don't have to rely on it for your very life if something goes wrong - is a very different approach to nature than the one that acknowledges its power and destruction, as well as its capriciousness]
• composting - the transformative work that God does, "we're full of garbage" that God changes into "black gold" of rich soil
[after the talk, Jeff points out that compost isn't just some mysterious-magical process of transformation, but involves a million million tiny beings each on their own working to break down the "garbage" and changing it into something we can use - these beings deserve acknowledgement and respect as well, and they provide us with perspective, our "garbage" is, to them, the stuff of life - I add, what looks like decay is just another kind of life]

11 AM | Margot Starbuck | Shame-Based Advertising: Faith and Justice Transforming Women's Body Image Obsessions

[we were a bit late to this talk because we were trying to find our way around and we went back to our campsite to grab our chairs]

• marketing based on the idea that something is wrong with you - this is not true, you are loved just as you are, already
[umm - Christianity? hello? didn't we just finish hearing someone speaking about how we're "full of garbage" and in need of transformation? what is the role of salvation in Christianity, and how does this relate to this idea?]
• always apologizing for our appearance anxieties
  -> we're not being present
  -> we're still turned inward and focused on ourselves
  -> we're communicating to others what we most value not just about ourselves but about them
• "that's what bodies are for" - the idea that our body is for others, to be used in service to them [frankly, this idea makes me a bit uncomfortable, overly self-abnegating]
• humility - genuine interest in others, escaping interiority
• stop at enough
  - stewardship - when you stop at enough, whatever you have beyond enough is your gift to others, a call to stewardship
[beauty - what about art? can the body be viewed as art, as a kind of self-expression or aesthetic expression? the speaker told a story of her daughter wanting to dye her hair - is this because she didn't like herself as she was, or because she wanted to experiment with her own style? is there a message of ascetic simplicity hidden in this?] [liturgical dress and ritual dress - the speaker seemed to suggest that wearing fine clothes to worship service was mostly a conceit and/or an invitation to be judged shallowly - but this leaves me wondering what is the role of aesthetics in ritual when it comes to dress and appearance of ritual participants? this seems to reflect a generally Protestant distaste for ritual]

12 PM | Richard Rohr | Falling Upward

• Two Halves of Life
  - "What is healthy in the first half of life becomes neurosis in the second half." - Jung
• 1st Half of Life - developing ego structure [individuation?]
  - creating the "container"
  - can get stuck defending boundaries and entrenched in establishing identity
• 2nd Half of Life - "contents"
• Plotkin's terms:
  - Survival Dance
  - Sacred Dance
• Hindu four stages of life:
  - student
  - householder
  - forest dweller
  - sage
  [here we see this return to the cycles of life again as a way of expanding the Christian context]
• Rohr says you'd think that Christianity [or I guess religion in general?] would be right out in front leading this process of growth from 1st half to 2nd half of life, then asks why aren't Christian traditions out in front leading the way?
• duality - paradox
  - for Catholics - the Pascal Mystery: "Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again" is not just a statement about Jesus, but a statement about the self
• "The cleverest way to avoid following Jesus is to worship Jesus." [got lots of laughs]
• "your game must fail you" - powerlessness, weakness, otherwise you cannot move on
• necessary suffering
• grace is punishment for the ego
  - there's nothing the ego hates more than this freely given love/forgiveness, because the ego likes things balanced, tit for tat, etc.
• permission to trust the movement into the 2nd half of life
• as a speaker/teacher/writer - not saying anything new
  - the role of the writer/teacher is to forward conversation by articulating certain ideas in helpful ways
  - recognition, not cognition (the reader/student says, "oh, this is something like what I've thought before" [but hopefully is also challenged?])
  - spiritual guidance
• the story of Odysseus - the second journey after the journey home
  - walk inland carrying an oar from your ship, until you come across someone who mistakes your oar for a winnowing fan, then plant the winnowing fan in the ground, make offerings to Poseidon, and return home
  - the winnowing fan - symbol of maturity, the ability of proper discernment
• reevaluating the Survival Dance
• flesh = ego (in Acts and Paul's letters)
  - the overly-defended self
• going from Ego-Driven to Soul-Drawn
• Spiral Dynamics
  - 9 levels
  - transcend and include (-> forgiveness)

[Conversation over lunch with Carl about the discipline of writing and the difficult of networking and publicity. Had a chance to meet Mike Morrell, as well as Pete Rollins briefly.]


3 PM | Phyllis Tickle | What In This World Is Going On?

• every 500 years - a reformation / rummage sale / "hoopla" of some kind - everything changes
  (for cultures stemming from, influenced by or colonized under latinized Christianity - i.e. "First World")
  - 33(ish) AD - Jesus, Christianity out of Judaism
  - 500(ish) AD - Fall of Roman Empire
  - 1000(ish) AD - Great Schism between Catholic and Orthodox Churches
  - 1500(ish) AD - Great Reformation, birth of Protestantism
  - 2000(ish) AD - "Great Emergence"? Emergent Christianity
• no more experts - culture too saturated, too much info to process
[does knowing that we're in a recurring reformation change how we react? is this similar to the self-conscious evolution where culture comes to take the place of natural selection forces?]
• 12 distinct forms of Emergent Christianity (also, distinct from "progressive Christianity")
• very diverse, but share some common traits:
  - nonhierarchical
  - no institution or formal organization
  - concern very much with social justice
  - reject any kind of arrogance in claiming to know "what God thinks"
[these are traits that tend to be shared with the Pagan movement, though the emphasis on social justice has been subverted somewhat in recent years; and the rejection of arrogance extends to actually rejecting a monotheistic God itself, though a new arrogance is cropping up in claiming to know what the many polytheistic gods think or want from us]
• things different about the current "hoopla" going on:
  - the knowledge and historical perspective afforded means we can address this current reformation with tranquility and calm, take it in stride
  - 65+ demographic is more involved, not just young folks
  - important to realize that U.S. and Canada are late to the game, this has been going on in Europe and other places for a while
  - b/c of internet, globalization, there's no physical location where this is happening - this means we need to focus on ways of cultivating personal contact among members of the movement (we need to get together every once in a while to "smell each other")
• the key question for the reformation/emergence is: Where now is your authority? or, How now shall we live?
• changing location of authority as Christianity evolved in history
  - pope -> scripture (during Protestant reformation, introducing the idea of Protestant inerrancy)
  
• changing focus on Persons of the Trinity:
  - some Christians very comfortable with God-the-Father but not as comfortable with Jesus Christ (e.g. Catholics and mainline Protestants?)
  - some Christians all about Jesus Christ but shy away from God-the-Father aspect (e.g. Evangelicals)
  - very few Christians comfortable with the role of Holy Spirit
  - recent shift towards role of Holy Spirit and direct experience of God (e.g. Pentecostals)

[will this be reflected in where the next source of authority is located? in charismatic leadership, for instance? does this reflect somewhat the direction the general culture is headed, towards effective mass-marketing and emotionalism/sensationalism? also, what makes Phyllis Tickle think this will be "the last reformation" once Christians have "completed the Trinity" so to speak? evidence for this? naive, considering the evidence of history? would approaching this from the perspective of the cyclical nature of time change our view of things?]

• Big Questions coming up for Christians:
  - What is our theology of religion? (i.e. how do "we as Christians" interface with and live in a multicultral, multifaith world?)
  - What is the nature of atonement?
  - What is a human being?


• "Most world religions agree in their wisdom and their morality. It is in their Mysteries that they differ."


• newest discoveries in modern physics are driving this current reformation, bringing up big questions about ontology and the nature of human existence and meaning


• science and knowledge changing culture, these changes come last to religion (where we do the hard work of integrating ideas and understanding their implications)

[Conversation over dinner with Carl and his friend, Pat, who was a practicing Pagan back in the 80s (?) but now considers herself the Pagan version of "spiritual but not religious." We talked about issues of social justice and environmentalism, and the tendency for Pagans to be too insular and prone to in-fighting, rather than focusing on larger social issues. I had a chance to brag a bit about the PNC and the No Unsacred Place blog project as examples of how social media is helping Pagans build the necessary community infrastructure to expand the conversation and participate more effectively in national conversations over important issues.]


8 PM | Doug Pagitt | The Inventive Age

• institutions are cultural artifacts (including churches)
• Four Aspects of Culture:
  - thinking (head)
  - values (heart)
  - aesthetics (gut)
  - tools (hands)
• Four Ages:
  - Agrarian Age (farming)
  - Industirial Age (industrial revolution)
  - Information Age (science and technology)
  - Inventive Age (current age, creativity and innovation, social media, etc.)
• Churches in the 4 Ages have had a shifting focus:
  - Agrian Age (rural) had the "parish church", all about location
  - Industrial Age (urban) had competing "brands"/denominations
  - Information Age (suburban) all about learning, education
  - Inventive Age (global) all about creativity and meaning-making (?)
• role of books is to help further conversation that is already going on
• What Defines the Inventive Age:
  - the need to make meaning
  - the need to make beauty
[not sure how these are different from any other age, or if this is just the natural focus of any transitional period of time when everything seems to be in flux; is meaning-making and beauty-making a sustainable cultural model? what are some of the pitfalls of the Inventive Age - perhaps that mirror the pitfalls of the previous Ages - again, focus on marketing and cult of personality (in contrast to, f'ex, consumerism and capitalism getting going in the Industrial Age, or the emphasis on knowledge = power in the Information Age?)]
• Bounded Set Systems v. Center Set Systems v. Relational Set Systems
  - Bounded Set: a playground with a fence around it to keep kids inside and safe, clear lines between who's in and who's out, concern with identity markers and community boundaries
  - Center Set: playground with really interesting, fun stuff in the center, no boundaries or fuzzy boundaries, the "main attraction" in the center gathers interested participants, who are free to come and go as they choose
  - Relational Set: no playground, each kid brings their own toys and no one knows what games will be played until everyone shows up and you see what you have [this could be understood as "emergent community"? also, if there's "no playground" - how do you know where and when to go to meet up with others? how do you mobilize and connect? festivals and temporary meeting spaces becoming increasingly important?]

[After such a long day, we were exhausted, so Jeff and I headed back to camp pretty early and were sound asleep by 9:30 PM or so.]