Showing posts with label tarot - tower. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tarot - tower. Show all posts

Friday, April 20, 2012

Storyteller Spread Day 9: Treasure and Home

I'm on Day 9 of using Dianne Sylvan's Storyteller spread, today pulling the card for the ninth and tenth positions, representing The Treasure and Home.



The position held by Card 9 represents the Treasure, that which the Key (Card 8) unlocks, the outcome of the quest and the final reward for the challenges faced and overcome. Card 10 represents Home - the hero's journey has come to an end, and this last card represents how she will integrate her new skills and gifts into her life and bring them back home (or perhaps, move on to another adventure).

For the Treasure, I drew the Three of Swords - a card of heartbreak and betrayal, although there may also be some suggestion of a willing sacrifice. This card is not a final state, but a transition - the number three is a first manifestation or expression that arises from the tension and duality of two - and so this pierced heart (in this deck symbolized by a swan pierced by three swords) is not a permanent state of brokenness but a step along the continuing journey.

I was a bit surprised and discouraged to see this card - almost always interpreted as pretty straight-forwardly negative - in the position of the Treasure, although it certainly seems in keeping with the Four of Cups in the position of the Key. My immediate reaction was to think that this whole process, this quest, would just end in disappointment, betrayal and heartbreak. But the card also reminds me of the concept of the raw and exposed heart - the tender heart that is so exposed and so intimate with all things that it feels not just intense joy but also immense sorrow. This is a state of utter openness to the world, a deep vulnerability. Though it might not be the kind of reward I was hoping for, many of the other cards in the spread (which speak of finding balance between conscious and unconscious, between will and soul) seem to be leading up to this point. Even in the top row of cards (Cards 3, 6 and 9) there seems to be a progression, with Card 3, the Pack (the skills and assets the hero begins with) being the Eight of Swords, also depicting a swan pierced by swords and trapped by thorns. Card 6, which is itself the Sword (the unexpected gift or strength the hero discovers within herself that helps her defeat the Dragon in Card 7), is Temperance, which is an evolution of the calmness and hope counseled in Card 3. In this sense, the Three of Swords in Card 9 is a natural evolution, a heart that is willingly bared and raw, in which the swan no longer struggles against the blades. If you think of swords as a symbol of communication and intellect, this may even suggest a process by which cultivating centered temperance gives me a more "penetrating" insight into the realm of the heart/emotions/unconscious, or perhaps allows me to communicate about that realm more effectively in a way that touches others.

The two supporting cards I pulled for Card 9 were the Tower and the Hermit. Again, both major arcana cards supporting a minor arcana card. In the Tower, there is a suggestion that what has been built up in the past will come crashing down and the world will turn upside-down - and the Hermit certainly suggestions a time of leaving behind the life you've known before and journeying into the wild in search of truth and guidance. I'm not sure I have any deep thoughts on these cards - perhaps time will tell.

For Card 10, Home, I drew Death. Yeah, that's right.

So returning home to integrate these new gifts and skills into ordinary life will be a deeply, fundamentally transformative experience in which I literally die to my old self. .....Yay. Although I can't feel too bad about that (the imagery and artistry of the Death card in this deck, which depicts a phoenix triumphant, is so beautiful it's hard to feel bad about drawing it), part of me is not exactly thrilled that I'm going to face yet another transformative, (r)evolutionary transition or experience. (I think I've written about this before - about how sometimes I get sick of always have to evolve and transform with these spiritual or metaphorical deaths - but I guess that's Pluto's influence in me.)

The two supporting cards for this final drawing are: the King of Wands and the Seven of Wands. So once again, it seems clear that this is related to my projects and initiatives, and probably in particular my podcast work and my work as a volunteer naturalist. The King of Wands is a powerful figure who holds a great fiery energy in careful check, curved around himself like wings. He is a figure of clear sovereignty and power, but also of charisma and active initiative, although all of this is expressed through structure and order. The Seven of Wands is also a fairly position card (at least in this deck), depicting a mother fox protecting her young in an act of selfless courage - it is a card that symbolizes standing up for what you believe in and fighting for what you care about, and finding without yourself the courage and faith to overcome all obstacles even in the face of discouragement and competition. The fact that the artist specifically mentions faith is not necessarily a coincidence, I think.

I'm feeling somewhat bewildered by these intense cards and not sure exactly how to interpret them (though part of me keeps wondering just how much my daily drawings are influenced by my own moods and energies on a given day - since in the past couple days my period has started and my mood has, as usual, become somewhat worn and stretched thin (like butter over too much bread). Perhaps it would be helpful to revisit this spread at some point later, drawing all ten cards during the same session to see what insights they might yield.

I also want to experiment with a new spread Jeff has discovered in the book that accompanied his new steampunk tarot deck - one in which you rearrange the spread as you go and use the cards like interlocking gears to explore alternative outcomes and how to get there. Half divination, half magical working. I'd be curious about exploring that.

I also want to know what Jeff plans to do as his final "wrap-up" ritual as part of this spiritual work. I'd like to do something for myself, but I think I'll need at least a few days to ponder it and come up with something.

* I should add - Google has updated the Blogger UI and managed to make it suck even harder in a pretty profound way (like, f'ex, not automatically inserting paragraph breaks in the html, and also generally just making the dashboard hard to navigate with WAY TOO MUCH WHITE SPACE and, bizarrely, no bottom margin so that I'm literally typing at the very bottom of my screen with no way to scroll). So.... yeah. Good job, Google. What the fuck? Do you have a lot of self-hatred or something? Are you trying to fail? Are you trying to make people not like you? ::headdesk::

Friday, January 28, 2011

Daily Diary

Sun: aquarius (air/fixed), 7:33am - 5:33pm
Moon: waning crescent, sagittarius (fire/mutable)
Earth: snow. for the past three days, steady snow layering in slush and ice (hovering in the low 30s), punctuated by moments of sunshine through the clouds

Thoughts: thinking some more about a plan for the next several years in terms of building a career; had a conversation with Jeff over lunch about increasing my skill set for the contractor work I'm doing, including taking an online course in transcription and possibly some tutorials in one or more computer scripts; also, thinking about the revamped website and what I would include, how I would organize it and what its purpose would be (to showcase my writing and my author "persona" while distancing myself from the "passive-ist" stigma that's cropped up due to my writing on P+P, also to expand my audience beyond "Pagans" to include broader interest in earth- and nature-spiritualities)

Actions: slow morning getting going again (after two days off to focus on wedding stuff and website/writing stuff), spent some time singing and crying over Egypt and political angst; brainstorming ideas for new website; late lunch with Jeff, then several hours of contractor work; took a half-hour break to take a walk through the woods in late afternoon; after dinner, sat down to revise the LotS Imbolc ritual to post to the forum

Connections: feeling really good about the work I did for LotS once again; it seems silly to worry so much about internet/FB stuff when the work I do with this group always feels so focused and satisfying (and free of the stigma that I am inherently unreasonable/extreme because I'm a pacifist); I do very much enjoy writing ritual and working through meditations with this group; also, it brings me closer to my goddess, for which I am incredibly grateful; also dealing with some of the old sorrow over politics after reading a depressing article this morning about the news of protests in Egypt and VP Biden's reaction to it (basically that freedom and democracy serve economic interests, not the other way around, and should only be granted if they don't threaten the regime stability of our allies); Ani's "Next Bold Move" got me through that one with only a few tears, but afterward, it felt good to allow sorrow to be sorrow, and not try to justify it or reason it away through bickering

Daily Tarot Card: The Ace of Cups signifies the gifts offered by the mysterious depths of emotion and intuition, and the reflective perceptions and perspective to be gained from engaging deeply and authentically in our nonrational selves, exploring our dreams and creative longings. It is a card of gladness and blessings, signifying emotional fulfillment and enjoyment not from any concrete gain but from feeling ourselves more in tune with the rhythms and currents of life.

What two gifts does the Ace of Cups offer to me now? To the left: The Tower (XVI) signifies a sudden and shaking confrontation with truth and reality in all its complexity and unpredictability. A sharp change in perspective that may bring dreams or plans crashing down, the gift of the Tower offered by the Ace of Cups might be a deeper exploration of the shadow self, the nonrational and irrational aspects that have been hushed up and shuffled aside for the sake of "more important" plans, and now reassert themselves with a vengeance, demanding attention and reconciliation. This is a card of consequences and deeper integration in the face of difficulty and sometimes tragedy. Perhaps as a gift of the Ace of Cups, the sorrow or grief of the Tower is itself a gift, a flowing-over of emotion into expression, helping to cleanse and find renewal.

To the right: the Six of Pentacles, a card of mutual support and generosity, spiraling through a cycle of self-sustaining life and giving. Success has led to prosperity that is now poured out for others in need, watering the thirsty ground so that others may drink and grow, and in turn offer their support and generosity to others. This card is one that indicates the wise and compassionate sharing of resources and gifts with others, not merely as a superior benefactor to the lowly and needy, but as one who is in the midst of cultivating those gifts with the support and encouragement of others around us. As a gift of the Ace of Cups, we experience the emotional and spiritual fulfillment in witnessing in a very visceral, manifest way the ways in which we are all connected in a cycle of generosity, prosperity and charity to others. Unlike the Tower, which may have consolidated resources to build higher and higher towards a particular purpose, the Six of Pentacles seems to celebrate the sharing and gift-giving as a distribution and diffusion of resources among all so that all may benefit. The cycle of giving and support may even be more important than the specifics of the gifts themselves in some ways. This, again, reflects the themes of gladness and connection in the Ace of Cups, as well as reflecting that aspect of dreams and ideals that can guide us even when they seem impractical. The Six of Pentacles shows us that such generosity is the height of practicality, when gifts are giving gladly and joyfully to others as an expression of our relationship and connection.