Daily Diary

Sun: aquarius (air/fixed), 7:38am - 5:25pm
Moon: *waning gibbous, virgo (earth/mutable)
Earth: just... cold, all day (I'm not even kidding, it's 6º F right now), with clouds blowing in bringing glittery snow, and otherwise bright sun and gusting winds causing drifts of the snow already fallen

Thoughts: had a list of things I wanted to get done today, and make some good headway in the housework and organization department, but most of my mind was occupied today with feeling like I wasn't getting enough done, and noticing all the little ways that the kids annoy me when they fail to clean up their messes, or hide their mess and think we won't discover it (today, I found out that three of the four kids have empty boxes and packaging from toys stashed in their bureau instead of clothes, with their clothes on the floor and a pair of underwear even stuff among books on their bookshelf, where of course the books weren't put away neatly but piled in a sliding mass so that some were already ripped..... etc.); also, while doing some housework, Jeff read to me some political articles online, which just left me feeling frustrated and helpless, like I live in a country full of selfish, greedy idiots.... which may or may not be true, but I dislike how frustrated and anxious it made me feel

Actions: slept in on my "day off," went to Pamela's with Jeff for brunch, swung by the bank to deposit my most recent check; built bookshelves for downstairs, put away the Christmas decorations for another year, ironed and hemmed the curtains in the dining room, finally installed the wall sconces and curtains in the living room, changed out the curtains in the library (and took down the curtains in the kids' room until we talk to them about tugging on them and bending the curtain rods nearly in half); watched the movie The Blues Brothers with Jeff after dinner and got to talking about doing a cartoon video spoof for our wedding blog, incorporating other themes from other favorite shows and movies of ours

Connections: usually, cleaning and housework make me feel good and productive, but today seemed to involve a lot of false starts and failures (we have gaping holes in plaster on one wall now because apparently these walls are made of impenetrable super-wall in some places and you can't tell where until you try to put a nail in), not to mention long periods of dull work, like the ironing; as a result, even though I really did get a lot done, I'm feeling like I didn't get much done and this is frustrating me; I think it also extends to the politics stuff and just how disgusted I am with the whole thing, yet torn because I feel like it's somehow irresponsible or apathetic to turn my back on all of it.... yet, I'm not sure how bickering online and reading article after article about the same shit every day does any good - it's boarders on superstition to think that merely "staying informed" somehow transforms people into responsible citizens.... sigh

Daily Tarot Card: The World (XXI) is a card of wholeness and unity, connection and interconnection, relationship with the diversity of unique individual beings all dancing in harmony to the Song of the World as it moves each one in its own and proper rhythm. There is a sense of fulfillment and completion about this card, a coming into one's own as a result of hard work and growth, yet it is also a card that inevitably leads to a new beginning, a new journey in which we begin again as the Fool. This card represents a balancing of feminine and masculine aspects within ourselves that allows us to become whole without external pressures pushing us to rivalry or harshness. We take life in stride, the good and the bad, and trust the place it all has in the "bigger picture," perhaps even experiencing glimpses of this grander scheme before we move on again, through the peaks and valleys natural to life, bringing both joy and sorrow, grief and peace of mind in their beauty and balance. (My notes: I am totally not feeling this card tonight - but perhaps it is meant to be a reminder... or a promise.)