Divination on Writing, Anger and Frustration

Extremely upset tonight by incredibly hurtful, rude remarks by a supposedly well-respected "Pagan academic" who chose to make personal attacks against me in his blog (which I only just happened to stumble upon tonight), and comments left by some of his readers, one of whom used to describe himself as my "first official fan," agreeing that I was patronizing, hyperbolic and "extremist." I'm not feeling up to doing a daily diary entry (my hands have only just stopped shaking from anger enough for me to type with any consistency). But I did decide spontaneously to do a three-card tarot reading.

(a) Insight into the current situation.
(b) (perpendicular) Energies or forces that are working at cross-purposes and may be throwing up obstacles.
(c) My best hope for a healthy, happy, fulfilling resolution.

(a) Four of Cups - A card of reverie and self-absorption, losing perspective and turning a blind or stubborn eye to the gifts being offered. This card has appeared numerous times during my daily diary readings, and seems especially to represent an absorption in how the self appears or presents itself to an outside observer. There is a sense of alienation from one's true element or environment - the mermaid in the card gazes into her reflection in the water, contemplating her image mirrored back to her within her natural element, yet she herself shivers from the cold, dry air on her skin and longs to plunge back into, past self-reflection and self-consciousness.

(b) Four of Swords - A card of stagnation in some ways, in a suit that often represents strife and conflict, in other ways this is also a card of renewal and lucidity. It signifies a period of rest and withdrawal into the self to seek perspective and mental clarity, and can indicate that this respite may be forced on one unwillingly, necessary in order to break free of the stagnation and motionlessness of current circumstances. Echoing the Four of Cups, the "masculine" suit of swords signifies not a meandering in fantasy and reverie, but a more active and productive period of rest and stillness that ultimately leads to the "cutting through" of stagnation and frustration to a new level of insight.

(c) The Moon (XVIII) - A card of dreams, fantasies and the unconscious, the unmasking of truth as can be seen sometimes only in the half-shadowy light of the moon at night. Sometimes a card indicating anxiety and even fear, the powerful urges arising from the unconscious may be harnessed and integrated through creative and artistic work. As a card of the major arcana, there is also a hint in this card that the forces of the unconscious may well up unbidden in unexpected ways, causing an unsettled period during which emotions run high and life may seem unpredictable, strange, even eerie. That this might be my greatest hope for seeking resolution seems to suggest again that I turn to my writing as an artistic craft and vehicle for active self-discovery, rather than continuing to try to cultivate it as a tool for lecturing prosaically.