Daily Diary

Sun: sagittarius (fire/mutable), 7:20am - 4:56pm
Moon: last quarter, leo (fire/fixed)
Earth: gray and chilly all day, the first snow of the season just after sunrise this morning

Thoughts: spent all day feeling unusually susceptible to sadness and anxiety; worrying about why Raymond hasn't emailed me back about his mailing address so that we can send him a Save the Date for the wedding; frustrated and annoyed by the comment thread on Carl's recent post about "missing the point" in writing about mysticism, and the increasing belligerence of blog commenters in general who seem so comfortable sitting in judgement of others and criticizing those who dare to attempt creativity or craft; continuing to feel a growing ambivalence about blogging as a medium and unsure how to overcome the various obstacles and problems associated with the medium, uncertain about how to live my soul-work through my writing and how to deal with feelings of being ignored and unsupported by the community

Actions: a rare day off without work or kids, so Jeff and I hung out around the house in the morning watching a Pirates movie, then headed to IKEA to find out which bookcase it was we wanted to ask as a gift from my parents, then made our way back home for a quiet night to watch the third Pirate movie, which Jeff had never seen

Connections: in general, feeling cranky with a headache all day, which was either a result of or cause of the sadness and feelings of being overwhelmed; watching the Pirates movie and reveling in the triumph of the old gods of wildness, freedom and nature over the petty bonds of greed, capitalism and betrayal; good storytelling will prevail even in the face of the logic we tell ourselves is "more real" - being true to the story that needs to be told, that speaks to the heart, I suppose

Daily Tarot Card: The Seven of Cups reveals a situation of paradox, dreams and fantasies. Some may be dangerous, encouraging unhealthy character traits like ambition, greed and egoism, urging us on to pursue unattainable goals at our own peril. Yet other dreams are the leadings of our deeper true selves, holding within them the potential for more authentic connection and integrity, healthful and fruitful spiritual growth. We may find ourselves in situations when it is difficult to distinguish these latter dreams from the unhelpful fantasies. There are too many possibilities to choose from, and so choice itself feels impossible. (My note: But we always have a choice - the liver does not jump up and slap us in the face. It may be necessary for me to spend time determining my own motives and discerning the most beneficial path towards which my soul is prompting me.)