Daily Diary

Sun: scorpio (water/fixed), 7:08am - 5:01pm
Moon: *waxing gibbous, aries (fire/cardinal)
Earth: blustery and gray, the wind has been howling for the past few hours and dawn came slow and dim, barely noticeable as the sun rose into clouds

Thoughts: awoke at least an hour before the 6am alarm, feeling anxious and turning over politics in my mind, the phrase "losing the war" kept coming up, listing all the ways people are so easily distracted by the small things without ever noticing or turning their attention to the underlying patterns of violence, and yet life is also very beautiful and full of joy; thinking about a post for P+P on receptivity and "passive-ism" as aspects of pacifism in a positive way; the myth of men at the mercy of sexual impulse as part of systemic patriarchy; the idea that humans are inherently violent another aspect of this, maintained despite all the evidence of the lengths we'll go not to have to do violence to others; thinking about the Brigid ritual coming up and decorating the altar area; very much looking forward to that work, I still find myself very excited by it; thinking about Savanah's next lesson and trying to plan ahead a bit; wondering what my next assignment for work will be and when it will come, wondering how much money will come in from this job; feeling guilty over still not finishing the article about nonprofit tax status, work on that sometime this week probably; just this feeling of anxiety in my chest, and frustration, but also excitement and happiness and energy, all of it stirred up by the wind

Actions: today is another "wedding wednesday," which means writing to the officiant to see if he's available and willing to do our ceremony (and the approximate cost); perhaps today would also be a good day to experiment with the glass paint as part of the whole "wedding favors" idea, so that I'll have something to bring home and show the parents when we visit for thanksgiving; other than that, going for a walk in the woods; finishing the final draft of the Lady of the Stars full moon ritual and posting it to the group; possibly write up a post for either P+P or Meadowsweet (for my blog, some thoughts on the different types of meditation, or something like that, though I feel as though I haven't done a substantive post in a while)

Connections: this kind of free-floating anxiety happens sometimes, and I think the best solution is to just plunge into work and get some things accomplished, but not give the anxiety too much leeway, don't follow it where it wants to go — at least not too much, except perhaps in writing; I honestly think part of it is the wind riling me up this morning in the pre-dawn dark

Daily Tarot Card: The Six of Wands is a card of victory and accomplishment, triumph over obstacles and success in the eyes of others. However, such success may provoke rivals and challengers, and so though hard work has produced fruits already, this is also a card of movement, continuing to strive and seek out new challenges and new ways of continuing to grow. This card can be a warning against lassitude and "resting on your laurels," but it also signifies positive change in the future as a result of continued effort.