Daily Diary

Sun: scorpio (water/fixed), 7:10am - 5:00pm
Moon: **waxing gibbous, aries (fire/cardinal)
Earth: cold and rainy all day

Thoughts: just a pretty awful day full of feelings of bitterness, rejection, alienation and frustration; tensions in the Brigid group over leadership decisions, probably aggravated by me being too touchy about stuff I needn't have been touchy over, hopefully they've been resolved (after apologies on my part which I hope will be accepted); frustration over PNC editorial board meeting being scheduled during Thanksgiving week when I won't have computer access, and how absolutely no one responded to a post to the group earlier on issues of objectivity, authority, transparency, etc.; work went well and I enjoyed it, probably one of the few things today that didn't depress me; Facebook inanity and people never ceasing to post article after article about all the petty, stupid shit that's wrong with this country and this culture; then I find out that the sensationalized pat-downs=rape story was picked up and mentioned in Newsweek, which pretty much means my opinions about journalistic integrity mean nothing whatsoever, since I clearly don't know what I'm talking about and sex does sell and violence is cool and I'm inclined to agree with that Tool song about how we're all a bunch of voyeuristic vampires... but I can't do it anymore, so I'm thinking of getting the hell off of Facebook once and for all, and possibly putting the blog on hiatus for several months at least until I can get some perspective, find some direction or at least not feel so absolutely shitty about how little my work means

Actions: did a couple hours of work; managed to set up preferences with the software so it's working pretty well now; got Cu some cat food and cooed at the kittens up for adoption from the shelter for a while; watched some old episodes of Buffy with Jeff; the amulet I ordered to consecrate to Brigid on Sunday night's full moon ritual arrived and is even more beautiful than the pictures

Connections: my life is good and my work is meaningful... so why do I feel like such worthless, unwanted shit? maybe I just wish the world were different; but I sure as hell know that being on Facebook isn't going to change that; what will change that is me spending the time necessary to understand who I am and what my soul work is, and then doing that with as much love and courage as I can... and letting myself have bad days sometimes, I guess

Daily Tarot Card: The Wheel of Fortune (X) turns and all things are connected, interwoven and ever-changing, the ring that makes the happy one weep and the grief-stricken attempt a smile: this too shall pass. Stories move through the world with no beginning and no end, only destiny and fate in an intimate, strange and simple dance with individual choice and will. These patterns which repeat arise from our own habits of thought and being. If we are unhappy with them, we have the opportunity to change as the cycle shifts and we begin anew. But to make such change, to participate joyfully in the spiraling dance, we must sometimes pause, step back, and seek perspective.